In Douglas Carter Beane's Mr. & Mrs. Fitch (Second Stage), the irrelevancy gap is even wider. Beane's Fitches, wholly unlike the Cole Porter–invented couple who inspired them, are a duo of married gossip columnists who talk, to our sorrow and constant earache, just the way newspaper gossip columnists used to write, decades back, with an old-style tough-guy editor who bullies them to pep up their column. Their pep-generator: Invent an imaginary celebrity whom everyone adores. Their inevitable comeuppance: Their hoax celeb is co-opted by the right-wing slime whose presence they've spent years chronicling. Their lame revenge: Give up gossip and unmask those fascist phonies in your great American novel. John Lithgow and Jennifer Ehle exert a lot of energy trying to make Beane's nonsense fly, but it's hard to care.