CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] More Capricorn spiritual seekers will become enlightened in the next five weeks than in any comparable period of history. Hell, there'll be so much infinity mixed with eternity available for your tribe that even a lot of you non-seekers could get a lightning bolt of illumination or two. That's not to say that you have to accept the uplifting revelations, or even tune in to them, for that matter. If you'd prefer to ignore the sacred hubbub and go about your practical business without having to hassle with the consequences of a divine download, that's fine.

AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] Can you imagine what it would be like to venture into the opposite of the Bermuda Triangle? I think that such a place exists, and I think you'll soon find it. The luck that unfolds for you will be a blend of dumb and brilliant. The discoveries you make may be useless on the outside but valuable on the inside. Lost keys may reappear and missing links will materialize out of nowhere. Here's the piece de resistance: An apparent memory of the future could provide a secret passageway to a previously hidden enclave that contains "magic garbage."

PISCES [February 19–March 20] In honor of the new identity you're evolving into, I hereby give you the nickname of "Miracle Player," or else "Sleek Cat" or "Giant Step" or "Fate Whisperer." You may hereafter also use: "CEO of My Own Life" or "Self-Teacher of Jubilance and Serenity" or "Fertile Blur of Supple Strength." Feel free, as well, to anoint your head with pure organic virgin olive oil, fashion a crown for yourself out of roses and shredded masks, and come up with a wordless sound that is a secret sign you'll give to yourself whenever you need to remember the marvelous creature you are on your way to becoming.

Details

In addition to this column,
Rob Brezsny offers
EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES
and
DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES
designed to inspire you.

To buy access, go here.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 1-877-873-4888 end_of_the_skype_highlighting or 1-900-950-7700.




Revised and expanded 2009 edition of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings

by Rob Brezsny




Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.

Listen to MP3s, read the lyrics, or buy the cd, Give Too Much.




Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.

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Homework: Read and interact with free excerpts from my book "Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia" here: http://bit.ly/BeautyTruth. Respond at Truthrooster@gmail.com.

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