Is Elvis Rolling in his Grave?

The Addams Family: ghoulish turns into goulash. Get it?At least other nightlife isn't such torture.

Meanwhile, the devilish Dan Renzi, the gay guy from The Real World: Miami, now works for TMZ and obviously never pauses before going to great lengths to get his dish. I hear Renzi recently admitted to friends that he dressed like a boat worker in order to approach Kim Kardashian on board and get her to spill some beans. Kim's not stupid—but she fell for it anyway!

No one's fool, socialite Luigi Tadini told me he turned down a role in the reality show High Society when producers met with him bearing a contract for him to sign on the spot. You can't hurry socialites!

People come to me bearing drink tickets at all sorts of establishments, where I've lately had more vivid encounters than anything over at the Addams Family's torture rack. At the West Village hangout Pieces, a club staple leaned over and confided to me, "I'm too old for this place. I belong at Julius—you know, God's waiting room."

Satan's playpen—a/k/a Crisis!—is a Saturday-night bash at Elevate that brings an East Village feel to Chelsea with its hanging beads and tattooed gogo boys. Last week, gays, reformed '80s club kids, new ones like Onna Budget, and a "twotter" (a cross between a twink and an otter) assembled downstairs in "the Bomb Shelter" and upstairs in "the Panic Room," where promoter Cynthia Powell and entertainer Amanda Lepore reminisced about doing jury duty together the previous week. Amanda said she rushed to the courthouse with caked-on makeup from the night before, but that's not why she didn't get put on a case; there weren't any because it was a Jewish holiday. But on leaving, she did get a fawning note from a cop calling her a "confident woman"—and that's so much more rewarding than putting a drug dealer behind bars.

And now my one hand will pull the curtain closed while the other writes a new musical!

musto@villagevoice.com

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