Joan Rivers's Gay Revelations

Also, remembering the Tonys, even the forgettable parts

And finally, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work is that riveting view of the veteran comic that shows her unbelievable stamina and drive to remain the funniest human alive. After the NewFest screening, I moderated an onstage interview, where Joan said she'd spent her birthday doing The View "and at the surgeon, getting my 77th face."

I put a lot of Q into the rest of the Q&A, pumping Joan for same-sex dish and getting it when she told me she once dated a guy who turned out to be gay, which was bittersweet, especially when he later said Melissa should have been his daughter. (Joan probably wishes she was—she's still mad at Edgar.) And when I asked Rivers if she'd ever had a lesbian experience, she remembered that years ago, when she was about to perform at the Duplex, a woman got in her face and started kissing her. Joan kissed back, then, like a pro, went onstage.

Other exchanges gleaned from our recent encounters:

Me: You didn't mind that the documentary was warts and all?

Joan: I didn't want it to be one of those Biography specials. Even Rex Harrison, who was the meanest white man ever—his Biography was nice!

Me: Hitler's was mixed. But you actually are a nice person—though, thankfully, you can dish it out between friends. I love your takes on celebrity surgery.

Joan: Everyone was shocked about Heidi Montag's surgery. Me, too—that she waited so long!

Me: Then these people have babies and think the surgery will show up on the kids.

Joan: Celebrities, if you're good-looking, you've got to fuck a good-looking person or you're going to have ugly children!

Me: How do you keep getting surgery in a credit crisis like this?

Joan: I'm looking for a doctor that'll give me a two-fer. I'd love to get it at a 99 cent store. Like an all-you-can-eat buffet. All you can take! And I'm thinking of becoming Muslim. 'There's a real beauty under this burkha.'

Me: You love your work, don't you?

Joan: I adore it. In the midst of all my complaining, I'm also tap dancing. How lucky am I!

Me, too. I'm not removing anything.

musto@villagevoice.com

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