By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] Have you ripened into such a sophisticated person that you're hard to surprise? Do you draw conclusions about each new experience by comparing it to what has happened to you in the past? I hope not. I hope you're ready to be a wide-eyed, open-armed, wild-hearted explorer. I hope you will invite life to blow your mind. In the days to come, your strongest stance will be that of an innocent virgin who anticipates an interesting future. Blessings you can't imagine will visit you if you'll excuse yourself from outdated expectations and irrelevant complications.
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] The notorious Wicked Bible was published in 1631. That wasn't its original name. It was supposed to be as holy as every Bible. But it contained an error that slipped by the proofreaders' notice: In the book of Exodus, where the Ten Commandments were listed, the word "not" was excluded from one commandment. What remained, an insult to pious eyes, was "Thou shalt commit adultery." Most of these books were later burned, and the publisher was punished. Be on the lookout for a comparable flap, Aquarius: a small omission that could change the meaning of everything. Ideally, you'll spot the error and fix it before it spawns a brouhaha.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] The plant known as the squirting cucumber has an unusual talent: When the fruit is ripe, it opens up and spits out a rapid-fire stream of seeds that travels a great distance. In the coming weeks, Pisces, you'll have resemblances to this aggressive fructifier. It'll be prime time to be proactive about spreading your influence and offering your special gifts. The world is begging you to share your creative spirit, preferably with rapid-fire spurts that travel a great distance.
Homework: This week is my birthday. The best gift you could give me is to treat yourself to an experience you think I'd like. Tell me about it at Truthrooster@gmail.com.