By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
ARIES [March 21–April 19] When I studied method acting with David Mamet, he taught us to develop such a vivid imagination that we could taste the pretend coffee that we drank out of an imaginary cup. We'd hallucinate the bitter smell, and the muscles of our face would move the way they might if we were sipping the real thing. Pop star Lady Gaga didn't work with Mamet while she was maturing as an actress, but she got similar teachings. Recently, she told New York magazine that she can "feel the rain, when it's not raining." And: "I can actually mentally give myself an orgasm." If you think that you will ever want to have that strong an imagination, Aries, now is a good time to start working toward that goal.
TAURUS [April 20–May 20] When they say "Go with the flow," what "flow" are they talking about? Do they mean the flow of your early childhood conditioning? The latest trends? Your instinctual needs? When they say "Go with the flow," are they urging you to keep doing what's easiest to do and what will win you the most ego points, even if it keeps you from being true to your soul's code? I'm here to ask you to consider the possibility that there are many flows to go with, but only one of them is correct for you right now. And in my opinion, it is flowing in an underground cavern, far from the maddening crowd.
GEMINI [May 21–June 20] "There would not be such a thing as counterfeit gold if there were no real gold somewhere," says a Sufi proverb. Why am I bringing this to your attention at this particular moment in your life story? Here's the bad news: You're in possession of some counterfeit gold that you think is authentic. Here's the good news: Within a short time after waking up to the truth about the fake stuff, you will locate the real thing.
CANCER [June 21–July 22] Here's a thought from Gaston Bachelard: "He who listens to the singing of the stream cannot be expected to understand the one who hears the singing of the flame: They do not speak the same language." While I mostly agree with that poetic formulation, I think you're about to be a temporary exception to the rule. Normally, you are acutely attuned to the singing of the stream; your skill at reading its nuances are supreme among the zodiac. But I expect that you will not only have the power to appreciate the song of the fire, but you'll even be able to empathize with and understand people who are entranced by the song of the fire.
LEO [July 23–August 22] Paul, a fortune-telling octopus in Oberhausen, Germany, had an amazing run of success predicting the results of World Cup competitions a while ago. His technique? His handlers gave him a succession of choices between two tasty morsels, each representing one of the teams in a given match. The treat he picked to eat was the team whose victory he prophesied. I wish I could access his expertise to help me sort out your upcoming decisions. It's really important that you not over-think the possibilities, but rather rely on simple gut reactions. Why don't you pretend you're an octopus, and imagine that each choice you have to make is symbolized by some food item. Ask yourself, "Which is yummiest?"
VIRGO [August 23–September 22] Lewis Carroll's sequel to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland was Through the Looking Glass. As he wrote it, he invited his illustrator John Tenniel to offer editorial advice. In response, Tenniel suggested that Lewis cut out a certain chapter. Lewis agreed, and so the story, as we read it today, doesn't include Alice's meeting with a grumbling wasp who wore a bright yellow wig that sat disheveled on its head like a clump of seaweed. Think of me as your version of Tenniel, Virgo. As you finish up your labor of love, consider following my recommendation to omit the part that resembles a wasp in a wig.
LIBRA [September 23–October 22] If I asked you, "What are the most important lessons you've learned these past 11 months?," what would you say? I think you need this experience: an intense and leisurely conversation with a good listener you trust—someone who will encourage you to articulate the major developments in your life since your last birthday. Here are some other queries I'd pose: 1) How have you changed? 2) What long-term process needs to come to a climax?
SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] Avatar hammers out such anti-military and anti-imperialist themes that it could have been endorsed by Rage Against the Machine. And yet it's the highest-grossing film in the history of the world. One critic marveled at its popularity in even the most conservative areas of America, noting that it got "a theater full of people in Kentucky to stand and applaud the defeat of their country in war." Your assignment in the coming week is to do what Avatar has done: Try to make sure that your opponents are entertained by your message.