With Characters Named Too Cool, Dog, and Beaver, Speed-Dating Already Won

Comments (0) By Nick Pinkerton Wednesday, Sep 29 2010

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Speed-Dating
Directed by Joseph A. Elmore Jr.
Rockstone Releasing
Opens October 1

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When we meet Too Cool, Dog, and Beaver (Wesley Jonathan, Chico Benymon, and Leonard Robinson), their partnership revolves around trumping up elaborate schemes to find, mate with, and briskly dispose of women. The latest is Speed-Dating’s titular service, which makes for a succession of sexual encounters gone awry—their headquarters, Too Cool’s showroom estate, sees enough one-night-stand traffic to have “Walk of Shame” inscribed over the stairwell. Such cruelty is brushed off as good fun; your entertainment is the only desire of writer/director Joseph A. Elmore Jr., who buys subplots in bulk and drops in music videos when there’s any sign of slowing down. True to bromantic form, the bachelors grow up into true love with nice-looking actresses; along the way, “suspected man-tickler” Beaver confronts obsessively voiced suspicions of same-sex inclinations, there’s some stuff about saving a restaurant, and Too Cool reconciles with his birth mother and senile millionaire aunt (who made her fortune designing HALO!). Tender, meaningful eye contact alternates screentime with cartoon detours, including Chris Elliott as a blue-skinned building inspector named Red Green, Clint “Why not?” Howard hanging around in a wheelchair, Reign Morton queening it up, and stand-up Tony T. Roberts as an ex-pimp pastor. A homemade vaudeville that’s likable enough to wear you down with its eager-to-please capering.