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'He's Not a Horse. He's Secretariat!'

A A A Comments (11) By Nick Schager Wednesday, Oct 6 2010

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Secretariat
Directed by Randall Wallace
Walt Disney Pictures
Opens October 8

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Horses make lousy protagonists, what with their inability to speak, emote, or do much of anything but run or stand around. No surprise, then, that Secretariatemploys its subject as merely a vehicle for a human-victory-over-adversity story, which, in this based-on-real-events case, involves owner Penny Chenery (Diane Lane) triumphing against the chauvinistic “old boys”—and, in the process, setting a proto-feminist example for her hippie daughter—by leading Secretariat to Triple Crown glory. Sexism and classism are the twin hurdles leaped by feisty Penny and her plaid-hat-wearing trainer, Lucien Laurin (a hammy John Malkovich). Along the way, director Randall Wallace goes overboard with mawkish deification: The stallion makes his intro in slow motion set to narration about the biblical tale of Job, is later visualized emerging from roiling storm clouds like a divine steed, and is exalted by Malkovich with the trailer-ready proclamation, “He’s not a horse. He’s Secretariat!” As befitting a Disney period-piece sports drama, cutaways to sunset horizons are plentiful, and social issues of the day are glibly addressed via hoary platitudes. At least the formulaic race footage itself is vigorous; the schmaltzy mythmaking script, on the other hand, deserves a one-way trip to the glue factory.

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Adam 11/01/2010 9:25:00 PM

"... one-way trip to the glue factory." Love it!

Freeman sage 10/14/2010 9:39:00 AM

Your lack of affectivity is noticeable. You're obviously unable to discern between noble and dishonorable affective feelings! Find another profession!

Freeman sage 10/14/2010 9:39:00 AM

Your lack of affectivity is noticeable. You're obviously unable to discern between noble and dishonorable affective feelings! Find another profession!

Marty1234 10/11/2010 1:43:00 PM

What were you expecting..The Secretariat Centipede...

Marty1234 10/11/2010 1:43:00 PM

What were you expecting..The Secretariat Centipede...

Marty1234 10/11/2010 1:22:00 PM

Your review had all the insight and nuance of a Ric Sanchez broadcast..Although I think Ric would of liked the movie...I don't recall seeing one Jew..

Marty1234 10/11/2010 1:22:00 PM

Your review had all the insight and nuance of a Ric Sanchez broadcast..Although I think Ric would of liked the movie...I don't recall seeing one Jew..

Dan 10/07/2010 6:57:00 AM

Well I just heard an interview with Ron Turcotte ( the jockey the rode Secretariat ) in that massive win at Belmont to nab the Triple Crown) and he said he loved the film. So if the man that rode the horse himself likes it, then that's good enough for me. Why do we always have to search for reasons to not like a good story which this is ? We already know how it plays out, so why not just roll with it and enjoy it. What's not to like about that story ?

Dan 10/07/2010 6:57:00 AM

Mike 10/07/2010 1:58:00 AM

I swear you critics write reviews for the sole purpose of enjoying reading your own mastery of the written language. In other words....you're full of yourselves. I wouldn't take your recommendation on whether to see a film or not if my life depended on it. It isnt a film about social issues you aristocratic #sshole. Its about a racehorse and his owner. GAWD.