By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] "Dear Rob: My boyfriend's heart is in the right place. He likes to give me flowers. The only trouble is, the bouquets he brings are homely. A recent batch was a hodgepodge of blue delphiniums, white carnations, and red geraniums. Is there any way to steer him in a more aesthetically correct direction without deflating his tender kindness? —Unsatisfied Capricorn." Dear Unsatisfied: In my astrological opinion, one of the tasks you Capricorns should be concerned with right now is learning to love the gifts that people want to give you. Maybe at a later date you can start training them to provide you with exactly what you want. But for the moment, it won't kill you to simply welcome and celebrate their generosity.
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] Your new vocabulary word for the week is "skookum," a term from the Chinook Indians that is still used in some parts of British Columbia and the Pacific Northwest. My astrological colleague Caroline Casey says it means "in cahoots with good spirits" and "completely made for the job." Wikipedia suggests that when you're skookum, you've got a clear purpose and are standing in your power spot. According to my reading of the omens, Aquarius, these definitions of skookum fit you pretty well right now. (PS: When skookum is used to describe food, it means delicious and hearty, which could definitely be applied to you if you were edible.)
PISCES [February 19–March 20] In the coming days, it's crucial for you to be spontaneous but not rash. Do you know the distinction? Read the words of psychologist Abraham Maslow: "Spontaneity (the impulses from our best self) gets confused with impulsivity and acting-out (the impulses from our sick self), and there is then no way to tell the difference." Be sure you stay true to the vitalizing prompts arising from your inner genius, Pisces—not the distorted compulsions erupting from your inner maniac.
Homework: Imagine that, thanks to scientific breakthroughs and good luck, you're still alive in 2090. What's your life like? Testify at Truthrooster@gmail.com.