Courtney Love: "Get Me Out of Movie Prison!"

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown's in town, and she's not one of them.

Cast members from Logo's A-List: New York were probably sorry they came out to be interviewed on Daniel Nardicio's Shit Show at Room Service the next night. I'd heard the guys wanted to go on before me for fear I'd ambush their segment, which is weird since I'm the only gay press person who's written measured things about them. They were ambushed anyway by co-host Bianca Del Rio, who'd had some cocktails and greeted them with, "Let me say this. People hate y'all!"

Another guest, Alan Cumming, got no such confrontation when he said circumcision is genital mutilation and he loves having foreskin. ("I don't need spit or lube to jerk off," explained Cumming. "I have nature's lubricant.") Yeah, but more importantly, what did Cher look like when he worked with her in Burlesque? "I was prepared for scariness," Cumming admitted, "but she actually looked good. Then I saw the trailer, and she looked less good."

The ladies looked spiffy at a Rouge Tomate lunch for Made in Dagenham, about the real-life British femmes who fought Ford Motors for equal pay and won. "They didn't ask for thanks or seek glory," said the film's director. "This is a way for us to celebrate them." Alas, in the midst of the celebration, my chair collapsed, and I found myself on the floor, splattered with the uptown version of nature's lubricant—sparkling water. Had the chair been rigged because I'm a man? Or had I simply eaten too much gazpacho?

Love: "I've lived in New York for over a year—this time without going to Bellevue!"
Love: "I've lived in New York for over a year—this time without going to Bellevue!"

Whatever the case, I managed to pull some dignity back together and talk to the film's co-star, Miranda Richardson, getting her riled up about how there should be a law that movie actresses get paid the same as actors. While I had her on my side, I told Richardson that the SNL she once hosted is still in perpetual repeat. "Where are my residuals?" she cracked, laughing.

And, finally, in payment for starring in four movies in 2010, Patricia Clarkson was named "Star of the Year" at a Motion Picture Club luncheon at the Marriott, where she thanked "everyone who keeps a 50-year-old movie actress from extinction. We are on the endangered species list." And 58-year-old Mickey Rourke's name also came up when Scott Franklin won Producer of the Year, presented by his co-producer on The Wrestler, Mark Heyman. Said Heyman, "Nothing brings two people closer together than working with Mickey Rourke. There were plenty of instances where throwing tantrums, cussing, and going ballistic—again, we were with Mickey Rourke—would have been justified, but Scott was always fun and smiling." Maybe he'd like to work with Courtney Love.

musto@villagevoice.com

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