By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
Alas, Burlesque is a PG-13 affair—"You poured tequila on your Cheerios" is about as harsh as the dialogue gets—which critics have found way too tame of a venue for ritualized crotch-thrusting. Maybe now they'll finally recognize the brilliance of Showgirls and its underwater blowjob.
Even cuter than that bartender is Flynn Ryder, the long-nosed male lead in Tangled, and I'm ashamed to admit I have a huge fangirl crush on him. How embarrassing: I'm in love with an animated character! But one more adorable reaction shot of Pascal the chameleon and I would have surely reached for the screen and choked him to death.
Cute and animated David Campbell is singing showtunes at Feinsteins at Loews Regency, where he also talks about the time the very short Daniel Radcliffe begged him for the number of a female trumpet player. "So I'm basically Harry Potter's pimp," quipped Campbell, and I was completely shocked: Radcliffe is straight?
Armed with suitcases full of gossip like that, Richard Johnson is leaving Page Six to head a digital newspaper on the West Coast, explaining to me, "Time for a change. You should try it." This was at the Four Seasons party to honor Johnson, who New York Post editor Col Allan correctly told the crowd is "the gold standard" of gossipers and has an amazing ability to "assassinate with a smile." (Katie Couric unrepentantly talked all through Allan's speech. I wanted to throw a drink with a smile.)
Johnson then took the stage and said, "I want to thank my agent, my hairdresser. . . . Oh, wait a minute. I'm not in California yet." He more seriously gave praise to Rupert Murdoch "for believing in newspapers—and believing in iPads." As Johnson was gifted with a large "Page Six" surfboard to use in California, I started believing I'd better learn to surf, and to drive, too. Just don't replace me with Queen Latifah. I'm queen enough.