Our affection for this guy is well documented, but if Matt sits next to you in an airport lobby, you best get the hell out of there to beat the crowd. Spinner reports that the dude recently wound up in federal custody on suspicion of terrorism, prompted what might be the worst gag souvenir imaginable:
“I had bought a novelty clock in Tokyo, some sort of MacGyver, goofball alarm clock that happened to look exactly like a bomb. And it was in my suitcase,” he says, describing the memento he bought for a pal. “I had the Honolulu Airport evacuated for about 45 minutes. I ultimately had to surrender the alarm clock to the TSA but they were very pleasant and professional. They had done a great job and I thanked them and they let me go.” With everything cleared up, Berninger apologizes to anyone at the airport that may have missed their connecting flights that day.
I’m sure all those folks were pacified when they learned the catalyst for all this was mope-rock royalty. Also: The Onion with excellence in headlining, as always.