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Enough With Vampires Already!

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The Twilight series keeps sucking the energy out of wallets and souls.

True Blood continues drawing blood on HBO.

Vampires Suck, a reputed spoof, will bite down on August 20.

And Vamps is going into production, with Alicia Silverstone as a clueless you-know-what.

Enough already!

Isn’t a vampire onscreen the biggest cliche since the body-switching comedies of the ’80s?

The lust for vampires is just another form of misguided belief in the afterlife, for those who don’t think actual religion is cool enough.

This way, they can buy into mythical, eternal creatures without having to go to church or even really believe — not openly, anyway — that this kind of thing could actually happen.

They’re just convinced that all the capes and smoke machines and furrowed brows and sharp teeth are so fucking cool!

And so, to escape from chaos, they immerse themselves in these roaming, soulful, sexy yet endlessly sucking characters.

Stop it! They bite!

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