The heap of feathers has a slight ridge at the center, as if it covers a fallen tree. And this is the barrier over which the two must reach if they are to touch each other. The more severe restriction is that they cant sit up. Sometimes it seems as if touchingeven matingis their goal, but they neither fully understand how to do it, nor what theyve accomplished when they do feel each others flesh. I think of just-born animals nosing their way to a nipple, falling back, trying again. Or creatures emerging from some primal sleep that has erased their memories. At one point, Koma has brought one knee face to face with Eikos lifted knee, and the two knees suddenly look like blind, featureless worms. Because the movement are so minimal, so slow, so controlled, I find my focus shifting like this from the whole picture to details and back. When Koma lifts one hand and moves it slowly toward where Eikos lies half-buried, his hand appears to be an independent sentient being.
The room feels alive with anticipation. Do we all wish for the two to connect with some semblance of finality? Eikos leg slides along Komas, the back of Komas hand brushes Eikos cheekgently, clumsily, yet charged with erotic promisethen slips off. These people dont know how to hold onto anything, nor, seemingly, do they want to.
They are slow, but time moves swiftly. When I think I must have been watching them for about 40 minutes, I find that an hour and 20 minutes have passed, and 10 is approaching. I stand and change my angle of vision. Eiko and Koma seem finally to be drawing closer, without any more withdrawals into what could be exhaustion or despair, and to rest with their hands touching. I begin to ache even more for themfor their vulnerability, their clumsiness, their persistence. I feel the prick of incipient tears. An usher quietly tells each of us that its time to leave. As I cast a glance backward, I imagine this man and this woman beginning to separate again, and hurry away, hoping that isnt so.
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