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If your crystal ball reveals Futura instead of the future, it may be time to admit that you’re cut out for a career in digital or graphic design. You can tap the font of knowledge at Parsons the New School for Design. Late-spring offerings include an introduction to Dreamweaver basics, “Poster Design,” and “Graphic Design Portfolio.” You’re sure to have a Helvetica of a time.

“There are no rules for good photographs,” said Ansel Adams. “There are only good photographs.” That suggests that photography might prove an unusually difficult course to teach, but Columbia University will make several attempts in its summer session. For beginning shutterbugs, a basic class will acquaint students with “camera operations and black-and-white darkroom work, 8x10 print production, and critiques of student work.” More advanced snappers can enjoy a critique class augmented with darkroom demonstrations and readings.

English is one of more than 800 languages spoken in New York—so perhaps you’d like to improve yours. Queens College’s English Language Institute, the second oldest such school in the United States, specializes in teaching English as a second language. The short summer session offers classes emphasizing “listening, speaking, pronunciation, reading, writing and grammar,” and ensuring that students can function in professional, academic, and social settings.

Language learning can sometimes be rather dreary, but the Upper East Side branch of the Alliance Française has a cure for such instructional malaise. In addition to the usual round of beginner, intermediate, and advanced courses, they also offer thematic courses (topics include literature, art, history, and film), cultural workshops (photography and wine tasting), and an immersion week in Martinique. The tropical sun ought to make even verb conjugations très magnifique.

Has something been needling you? Would you rather needle something? Perhaps La Casita, a yarn shop and café in Carroll Gardens, can be of some assistance. In addition to purveying many varieties of wool and hosting baby showers and bachelorette parties (the café does serve wine and sake, so perhaps this is wilder than it sounds), La Casita offers an array of classes and workshops, ranging from $40 to $75 and including “Beginning Knitting,” “Beginning Crochet,” and project and technique classes.

Reflex Blue, Dutch Fireball, and Ivy Mint may sound like names of outré indie bands, but they’re just some of the ink colors boasted by The Arm NYC, a letterpress printing studio in Williamsburg. In addition to renting time on Vandercook presses and C&P Pilots, the studio also offers one-day workshops designed to teach students all they need to know to make their own “cards, flyers, posters, coasters, and hang tags.”

You know how people say something is just like riding a bike? Well, that probably doesn’t mean a lot to you if you have never learned how. Happily, Bike New York offers free beginner courses for adults and children taught by members of the League of American Bicyclists, at locations throughout the five boroughs. Savvier cyclists can take “Bike Commuting 101” and “Bike Maintenance 101.”

Wing Tzun Kung Fu is likely the only martial arts form created by an 18th-century nun. Instruction in Wing Tzun, such as that taught at the Upper East Side’s Emin Boztepe Martial Arts System, helps students to “Go Forward!,” “Stick to the Opponent!,” “Give Way to Greater Strength!, “Follow Through and Fill the Gaps!” and generally kick ass.

You wouldn’t be wrong for thinking the New York Botanical Garden a rather sedate place, with its immaculately trimmed hedges and herbaceous borders. But plants and their cultivation apparently have quite a wild side. Among the Bronx institution’s spring adult education offerings is “Psychoactive Plants: From Stimulants to Hallucinogens.” Topics of the four-session course include opium, coca, kava, yoco, as well as slightly less controversial substances such as coffee and tobacco.

If you look like a raccoon after you apply mascara, it may be time for a course in makeup application. Most department store counters can talk you through the basics, but for a more intense tutorial, you can enroll in private classes at Chelsea’s Makeup Shop. Offerings include “The Basic Face,” “Flawless Foundations,” and “The Pin-Up Girl: Exploring Classic Glamour.”

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