Why I Hate Celebrities!

49 Furious Reasons!

When I ask them for hot copy, they demur that their life has been an immaculate journey with no dark patches whatsoever, but the second a publisher dangles the dinero, they suddenly remember that grandma raped them.

Morgan Schweitzer

But the main thing I hate about celebrities—and you knew this was coming—is that I am inexorably drawn to their gutsy magic. They saved me through childhood and adolescence, their work and antics providing a glamorous catharsis that swept me out of outer-borough doldrums. And they still wet my wheels, exuding a radioactive glow that makes them seem extra charismatic and always worth watching. God, they’re fabulous. Fuck you, celebrities!

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