CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] A few years ago, Eve Ensler took her famous play The Vagina Monologues to Pakistan. She and a group of local Muslim actresses wowed a crowd in Islamabad with discourses on vibrators, menstruation, and "triple orgasms." I invite and encourage you to try something equally brave in the coming weeks. Give your spiel to a new audience; take your shtick to a wild frontier; show who you really are to important people who don't know the truth yet.

AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] When my "macho feminist" memoir The Televisionary Oracle was published in 2000, I suffered from comical delusions about its chances for mainstream acceptance. For example, I tried to get a review in The New York Times. As I know now, that had as much likelihood of happening as me traveling to the moon in a rainbow canoe carried by magical flying mermaids. But in lieu of that kind of recognition, others arrived. One of my favorites: My book went along for the ride with a group of goddess-worshippers on a spiritual tour to the ancient matriarchal city of Çatalhöyök in Turkey. They read my writing aloud to each other, amused and entertained. I suspect you will soon have a similar experience, Aquarius: having to "settle for" a soulful acknowledgment that's different from what your ego thought it wanted. Take it from me: That's actually better.

PISCES [February 19–March 20] My favorite plant food for my African violets is a natural fertilizer called Big Bloom. One of its key ingredients—the stuff that makes it so effective—is bat guano. I'd like to suggest that you're about due to embark on the Big Blooming phase of your own cycle, Pisces. And it's more likely to reach its deserved pinnacle of fertility if you're willing to summon just a hint of bat-sh** craziness from the depths of your subconscious mind. But remember: just a dollop, not a giant heap.

Details

In addition to this column,
Rob Brezsny offers
EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES
and
DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES
designed to inspire you.

To buy access, go here.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.




Revised and expanded 2009 edition of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings

by Rob Brezsny




Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.

Listen to MP3s, read the lyrics, or buy the cd, Give Too Much.




Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.

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Homework: To check out my expanded audio forecast of your destiny for the second half of 2011, go to http://bit.ly/LookForward.

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