By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
You assume the Super Bowl is a large household item at Pottery Barn. ... Your fake tans are even more life-threatening than your real ones. ... Your entire wardrobe consists of male designers having a midlife crisis.
You spend your whole life fighting for rights you don't even want for yourself. (Marriage and the military? No thanks!)...Gym was the bane of your entire childhood, but now you spend $1,350 a year on it. ... You gym all day and unsafe all night. ... It's not even called "barebacking" anymore. It's just "sex."... You think "modern dance" means Britney. ... You strangely turned off to Gaga the day she released a song about how great gays are. ... You haven't followed a female singer with two names since Alanis.
Way more of your friends bookmark Manhunt than nytimes. ... You spend half the day Photoshopping your Manhunt photos and the other half adjusting the lighting in your apartment so it'll match when they show up. ... The different subgenres of LGBTs hate each other. ... I hate muscle queens! ... The LGBT community pressures you to be a toned-down gay to move things forward, so you've basically come out of the closet to enter into a whole other form of oppression. ... You're furious when you catch your lover cheating, but you're convinced your own dalliances are perfectly acceptable and in fact worthy of applause. ... You started Botox treatments at 25. ... You work a cash register, but tell people you work "in retail."... You refer to your trick from last week as "my ex."
Thanks to the Internet, hustler bars are now just hangouts for elderly johns without any tricks. Tragically, some of the old men don't seem to realize this. ... Most gay men have never seen a lesbian except on daytime television. ... Just like a hetero will only pay to see Phantom or Wicked, a gay will only shell out cash for Priscilla or Sister Act. ... Gay plays and movies are marketed with, "It's not a gay play or movie. It's about the human condition."... Some gays still wear their collars up. ... Celebrities who were deeply closeted when they were famous now get awards for coming out to revive their careers. ... Gays are the last group on earth it's routinely OK to bash in movies, music, and life. ... Still, the haters routinely bitch about how gays are "the last protected class in America."... An exploitive trip to third-world nations to sleep with starving underage nymphs for $3 a pop is considered a glamorous vacation.
All cute gay guys somehow know they're cute. ... After a certain age, only women come on to you. ... Though their ultimate goal is to assimilate, guys spend the entire summer in gay-ghetto retreats where there hasn't been a straight since the colonial days. ... Dummos still think being gay is a choice. (No, it's coming out that's a choice. More dummos should try it.)... Everyone fights your views and vilifies you for years, then suddenly declares you an icon. ... No one under 50 has heard of the Stonewall bar, let alone the Stonewall rebellion.
You actually think that if a guy says he's negative, then he's really negative. ... You think that if their status is "Ask Me," it still might be negative. ... You're owed a fortune by various gay media outlets and actually believe that the check will be sent out next Tuesday and they won't come in your mouth. ... Your cologne bottle is in some sexy shape that makes it impossible to use or even keep on a shelf. ... You actually mark the Macy's flower show in your calendar. ... You still audition with that Pippin song and that monologue from A Chorus Line. ... Your growing collection of Shirley Temple dolls has your friends worried. ... You have twin Chihuahuas named Christina and Christopher. ... You look so much prettier in drag than as a man that you consider living as a woman. ... You're a militant gay on Facebook, but with your parents, it's "I haven't found the right girl yet."...You did a poignant "It Gets Better" video talking about how it's way easier to find sex partners past your teens. (Fortunately, no one clicked on it.)
You're "versatile," which means you can bottom in 15 different positions. ... You've been known to seriously cruise mannequins in Barney's windows. ... You have heated fights with co-workers over topics like "Wendie Malick or Jane Leeves?"... The Oscars are more important to you than the November election, though not as important as the Tonys. ... You check your ex-boyfriend's Facebook page at least once a week to make sure he isn't "friends" with any new cuties. ... Your Ivy League days are long forgotten. Nowadays, your existence centers around new episodes of Freaky Eaters. ... You've kept the Playbill for every Gypsy you've ever seen, including the ones at Paper Mill Playhouse and the Brooklyn Navy Yard.
You've sent back sorbet because it was actually sherbet. ... The more straight and unavailable someone is, the more wildly attractive you find them. ... If a cashier gives you five cents less than you're supposed to get, you start stomping your feet and screeching, "Homophobe!"... You assume that everyone famous is gay, including Doris Roberts and Larry the Cable Guy. ... You actually worked out a way to get college credit for fluffing gift bags for charity events. ... You have a "fag hag" for every occasion—bar, club, red carpet, funeral, phone calls. ... When someone asks, "Where were you on the day when..." you assume they'll finish with "the Spice Girls broke up?"... You think Kylie is better than Judy Garland. ... You kissed a girl and you didn't like it.
But the worst thing of all about being gay is that you wouldn't be caught dead at the Pride Parade. For decades, that event has strangely been considered déclassé, banal, and practically shameful. ... See you there! Happy Pride!
Well I'm glad the gay community is dying out. Those shallow "twink" type gay guys party hard and die young with 25 being old. As more gays move away from that type of life style gays have adopted healthier living habits.
Less unprotected sex
Closer friendships and support networks
Fewer hard core drugs
The values of straight society work best for a persons health. If they didn't, those social rules wouldnt have been around for centuries. Im glad gays are finally growing up and acting like adults instead of shallow little children.
The gay community is a social experiment gone awry. This community should never have formed because let's face it, it has no actual spiritual foundation, but instead is built on the idea that all "consensual" sex is good, a mere REACTION to the larger culture admonition against sex outside marriage. How flimsy is that? A community formed not out of biology or an independent purpose, but out of rebellion. It shows too. Gay guys and their often far left worldviews are in constant denial of the negative effects on emotional and mental health of sexual oversaturation. The prevailing gay ideologies encourages everyone to revel in relativism because afterall we are all different right? Yes we are, yet and still we all have common biological issues to deal with. And deny as we may, there is a procreative side to sex. Go figure. And if we don't at least channel our sexual energy into something meaningful, as nature has set up for heterosexual unions in the form of a child, we lose the battle against nature. All of the frivolity of gay culture is only an extension of the casual sex ethos. Gay men often do not socialize with one another as they do with heterosexuals and the result of that is dysfunctional social dynamics and mental illness. Gays (male especially) are quick to blame frustrations on being treated by heterosexuals when in fact, WE are our own worst enemies.
I was 40. I was happy for the most part. I dated women and had good relationships. I never married and never had kids...and that was my decision and always stuck by it.
Then I admitted to myself I was gay. I looked forward to a new chapter in life where I was going to be myself. I looked forward to meeting men like myself and thought not gonna be a problem. Always lived by the concept that there is someone out there for everyone. Being masculine, there had to be other guys out there that were looking for the same things in life I was. I think back and realize how stupid I was.
All the stereotypes listed above tend to be the norm instead of the exception to my dismay. Been on many dates with guys that said they were masculine and tired of 'gay culture' and the bar scene to realize finding masculine gay men is harder than you could realize and you are chastised in gay life for not identifying with what society considered the norm for gay life. I work on old cars. I do construction projects. I watch sports. I listen to classic rock. I hunt and fish. I enjoy camping even though mosquitoes eat me alive. I live with integrity and do what I say I'm gonna do. I never cheated on a woman I was dating and was always honest with my feelings and never used anyone. I was raised that you took responsibility for your choices and actions instead of making excuses.
I've been on dates that amaze me that these guys called themselves men. I had a guy tell me how he never cheated on the guys he was screwing behind his wife's back and could not figure out why their divorce was nasty. Another showed me a naked picture of his 'straight cousin' he kept on his phone in the middle of a restaurant...I didn't know how to react as I was dumbfounded. Met guys that went on and on about how leather, the gym, being a bear, smoking cigar, driving a pick up or being 'vgl' just made them masculine but carried themselves like women. Had a guy tell me how he worked for the defense department but no one knew he was gay as he downed beer after beer in a restaurant only to go on about American Idol and how he had to get home to watch some finale but then pissed when we didn't go out again. Had professionals go on about their salary but I paid for dinner because I invited them out. Helped a gay couple on a flip house and made it clear we were just friends only to have them storm in the bathroom every time I had to take a leak, get jealous of one another and storm off the project after I had driven 2 1/2 hours to help them. Been told I was too fat and that I needed to get down to a 32 inch waist. Drug to a NYC gay pride parade and was embarrassed to see what I say...how is wearing a jockstap on a float fighting for gay rights? Had a date with a car fanatic that didn't know where the oil went. Numerous different dates that made it a point to talk about all the guys they slept with wherever we were. Been berated because met a pornstar and had no idea who the hell he was...and still have no idea who he was. Told I wore the wrong kind of underwear to be sexy. Got gasps of horror when I didn't know who Lady Gaga was (I saw her name everyone once in a while and just thought she was some kind of European royalty I'd never heard of). Been told I don't dress gay. Been told I don't act gay. Been told I needed to change to fit in. Been around guys that only dated married men because they didn't want any kind of commitment. Been groped at work for guys to find out if I was gay then wonder why I was pissed. Sad part is, most of the guys I dated were in their 40's but acted like they were 12. It makes it hard to take many gay men seriously. Makes it harder is when straight guys act gay with conversation about how many pairs of shoes they own or their beauty secrets....I don't get it.
Even with all this, I still try and remain hopeful that there are good men of character out there. I don't have many criteria for dating either. Be honest, be a guy that likes being a guy, have integrity, have a mutual attraction and have a job. Maybe in gay life, even this short list is asking too much....but I ain't gonna change just to fit in.
Good luck to all the other guys out there with similar values. I believe things have got to get better. Or at least I can still hope.
@reddnekk999 You conflate character with gender identity - a very rigid gender identity that likely seems appealing because it's a mirror of you. Frankly, it's just another gay stereotype that we are obsessed with ourselves.
im gay, and being gay is boring sometimes. but who cares.. another thing.. every group at some point hates every other group.. some gays hate straights, some straights hate gays, some blacks hate whites, some whites hate blacks.. strangely enough you rarely see a black guy with another black guy (in a relationship), or a asian with another asian, or an asian with a black guy. but when you are white, and say your arent sexually attracted to blacks and asians, they are the first ones ALL OVER YOUR SHIT>. ironic no?!! some girls hate guys, some guys hate girls, blah blah blah .. everyone is prejudiced against something. whether its Starbucks, blacks, asians, whites, green hair, yellow pubes, orange carpets, IKEA, the government, the Korean government.. and everyone is full of shit.. everyone lies, no one is honest.. you have to pay taxes for shit youll never use, or to take care of people who cant take care of themselves.. being gay is really getting over inflated, and I am so tired of Ellen (who by the way,,,, is considered THE DEVIL to work for. I personally know two celeb hairdressers who said they would rather eat shit from Michael Musto's asshole for 16 years topped with candy canes than work for that two faced bitch of a cunt) .. LIFE SUCKS no matter who you are, eventually your bones start to creak and then you get buried in a fucking dirt hole, to rot for eternity while worms and other nasty creatures eat your skin bones eyes teeth hair etc..
namaste and blessings
I couldn't agree more. Even though I do consider myself out of this cathegorization. I don't feel any suceptibilities hurt either. Common people this is so real!!
Im from bogota Colombia, and I can relate so much of the things list in this article to the gay scene here in my country. I mean, eveyone is free to choose his own interests, but it sems to me that we have fallen so bad into the esthereotype.
I can tell by everytime I go to the gay bars on my city, or everytime I visit a gay chat room. Almost everyone seems to follow the same pattern, talking about, music genres, clothing, tastes, interests, everything!!! And you'd better not dare to disagree with them, otherwise they're going to call you intolerant, old fashioned, etc. I don't care really, but it is sad you know, so much stupidity put together... Once in gay bar I was talkin with a guy of 19 years old, Im 27 by the way, in some point he said to me: " You already smell like medicine" Because Im almost 30?? This stupid mindset is so easy to find. Sadly.
And about the article, so true about people having surgery at the age of 25 30!!! My god, such a plastic enviroment!!!
You may like it or not, but the truth is just in front of our noses.
There was a scene in a movie where Candice Bergen was trouncing some young tart over her trampish ways and mentioned Rowe v. Wade, the tart was like "who?" Bergen clutched her pearls in disgust. That's how I feel about gays who don't know what Stonewall is, or who Anita Bryant, or Harvey Milk was, about civil rights activists who don't know who Clayborne Pell was, about gay artists who don't know who J.C. Leyendecker was, about hoodlums wearing OBEY clothing who don't know why Shephard Ferrey is or why he's a hack plagiarist; I'd at least HOPE that the younger crowd know who Lt Col. Victor Fehrenbach, Lt. Dan Choi, and Dan Savage is.
History is so important, understanding that life isn't served on a god damn plate for you to squander; but so few understand this, or care.
I completely agree with JL. "Satire"...ha. Yeah ok. Don't you people know that humor often reveals the sad and ridiculous elements of true life? To the person who wonders why people aren't running from the gay lifestyle: That isn't happening because too many are denying that there is even such a thing. That's going to be the downfall of gay folks (gay men at least) That being said, I partially blame the internet. Isolation is a problen gay for folks as is, but the internet just increases that.
Jesus Christ… was this supposed to be funny? Because I'm just trying to imagine what the result would be if a comparable article, with comparable, negative stereotypes, had been printed under the title, "Why I hate being Black". Guess what? Not. Funny.
Remind me never to read Michael Musto or the Voice again.
So, why aren't we all running like a bat out of hell out of the gay lifestyle since everything said in the article is pretty much true? And those who think it's not, just haven't been in the lifestyle long enough.
I read the comments. This is the first article I read in the voice. I was reflecting on my original post. Mom always thought I was going to get married anyway because I wanted children, then I stopped drinking and dint get out much. I am kind of fat and boring and live in a red state. Its a little beach town. I visited the village a few years back and was going to attend NYU for GRAD studies in a different life. I'm friendly and outgoing but I deal with a little bit of depression and have trouble supporting myself. This Musto is like the dude I'd get along with but we can't drink together or anything these days although I take a controlled substances. I don't reaLLy hate life. Every bodies got problems. When we dwell on them they only get worse. I'm looking for humor or a clear vision for my future. Looking at those "old" reasons was like wearing the world like a loose garment.
God the time really does fly. I think my nieces and nephews have children now. I'm sure they know their uncle is gay and "left the family" and got his own apartment. I show up for Christmas and live in Dads winter house now. I don't know what they tell those kids now that moms gone.
I'm under the age of 50 (22 years old to be precise) and know that the stonewall RIOTS were a riots held at the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village, NYC in 1969. They brought rights for sexual minorities into (what was then) mainstream media. 90% of your "reasons" are generalizations, blatant stereotypes or forms of belittlement to the gay community or culture. I don't find solace in classifying someone as a "homophobe" even if they are and the misappropriation and bastardization of that term is the equivalent to gays getting upset when the word "fag" is used to describe someone who is a jackass. (please note that the word had a different meaning before and that language changes... eventually it will probably mean something else) Not every gay man is a flaming queen who has a conniption when they chip a nail. Just because you are incapable of telling the difference does not mean you should publish this crap and make the rest of the gay community look like ignorant, sex-crazed, victimized, one-dimensional morons. Please grow up and realize that what you are posting may be being read by someone who isn't familiar with the culture and that you may be giving someone a wrong, not to mention poor, impression of what it is to be gay.
Being gay is because you are devil possesed. It is the evil out there that is doing this. All gay men started with démons coming at night and convincing them to pull down there underwear. Then the démon would penetrate his anus, giving him satisfaction. The devil convinces people that he does not exist, So gay men think they are like this because of other reasons such as ' I was born like this' or 'my cock does not get hard when near females, So I must be gay'
Gays are freaks...just their looks scares the hell outta me...they take beauty of fashion and turn it into some scary he-she freak show!! Plus they all die with aids lol
Spot on and humorous. But Stonewall is a staple and many gay youth hear of its story in passing or research.
These stereotypes were old 15 years ago. If this is the gay bubble you live in, Mr. Musto, that just makes me glad I don't live in New York. Pittsburgh might not have the biggest or most awesome gay scene in the country, but at least I don't feel forced to take up a bunch of superficial bullshit to fit in.
Though some of this was a little dramatic. I am a gay woman and laughed hystericaloften the everyday nuances, frustrations, and spot on interpretations of everyday life for a gay man. Well written and hilarious.
Hi I'm not gay I'm straight and I'm glad. Btw I'm a girl. Though I do kind of want a gay best friend that's going to go shopping with me and get a manicure.
LOL. Judging from these comments, it’s nice to see that gay people are indeed part of the “human condition” - just as petty, vain, stupid, vindictive, defensive, cruel, youth centric, materialistic, self loathing and grandiose as the rest of us. Reading these comments reminded me of how Republicans fight amongst themselves! Hysterical.
Musto writes an entertaining little ditty about “gay life” that, while certainly not applicable to everyone, is funny. But, just like the legions of shrill seekers out there looking to tear down everything that doesn’t compute with their limited worldview, some people in the gay community have no sense of humor. None. Some of them, in fact, are as rigid in their standards of "orthodoxy"” as the Taliban.
You go Musto! Poke holes in everyone’s sense of what things should be!
Fuck you bitch!!!!!! I am as gay as you can grt and none of these references apply to me. Fuck you you low life cunt. You made number one on my list of people that make me hate being gay. Cunt
I'm gay and I don't understand half of the references on here or know who half the people referenced are. Everybody reading this should know that most gay men are normal everyday guys, but you only notice the fem f*gs like mentioned in the article, not the normal guys.
The gay stereotype doesn't exist, it may represent a very small portion of gay men but the overwhelming majority of gay men can't be distinguished from straight men, it's a shame that this stereotype represents the entire gay community. It's a main reason why most gay men wanted to pull the trigger growing up, pathetic.
guess the dominant "queen" culture (we're still loathing ourselves, right, Vance?) disagrees with you
Michael you made number 17 on my list.
(pssst....we stopped doing the whole queen routine last decade, get a clue.)
I hate being gay because i hate being mainstream and normal. Our lives have become very REPRESSED because of gay rights. The loss of our lifestyle, way of life, sexuality, identity and the list goes on. Bring back the gay community world wide, as we are all suffering now.
Hello, Michael. I live in Texas. I have many reasons why I've hated my life as a bisexual, but my list doesn't look like yours. Here's a few of my reasons:
- I hate having been a little sissy boy and having other kids in day care, learning I was being molested, teaching me the word "fag" when I was 5;- I hate having been an effeminate older boy, because it meant the other kids played "smear the queer" throughout junior high school, whenever the coach in gym class turned his back and walked away;- I hate having been a closeted teenager, with kids at church camp "worried for my soul" and cornering me about it, having to lie and say I was "normal," and hating the very sound of my voice because it might give me away;- I hate still being an closeted bisexual as an adult, because I can't be out to my extremely conservative parents, especially not my mom, who has angrily said that homosexuals are evil and going to hell. I secretly stopped believing in God a long time ago, but I can't risk losing my family.- Even if I were out, I think I'd still hate being bisexual in particular, because neither gay nor straight people believe I'm not just one or the other, or that I'm not a slut for being in the middle.
But honestly, I wouldn't hate being queer, if I didn't feel like the world despised me. I wouldn't have hated being effeminate if my movements, even my voice weren't mocked from childhood until I learned to hide my natural mannerisms as best as I could.
Please, the next time you get a chance to take chance in a Pride Parade, be in it. Enjoy the flamboyant, the militant, and the controversial if you like, but also remember that just by going there and being openly gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgendered, you're enjoying a freedom many of us still don't share in this country. And recognize that, even as bad as closeted people like me think we have it in this country, it's still paradise compared to some other countries, where people face prison, torture, or even death simply for being identifiably queer.
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This article is incredibly offensive and stereotypical. There is no reason to hate being gay! I hope this is a joke, but if it is it's not funny.
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I marched in my first pride parade here in Seattle today with my little group of transgendered misfit toys. We cover a pretty broad spectrum of style, politics, income, preference and relationship status. Being in the parade is part of coming out for me but we all go for our own reasons just like we don't go for our own reasons. I want to give the love to someone who got hurt when coming out to the community didn't meet his expectations but cynicism is no alternative. It doesn't matter to me that "community" is not perfect and may not even be real, i still want to thank it for letting me walk today. It really does change things.
The only thing I don't like about being Gay is missing almost all of my friends, the ones who died from AIDS. They've all been gone for so long but I can still remember their young smiling faces and the sounds of their happy laughing. I hate that I have to miss them. Why didn't we get to grow old together?
Please stop resuscitating stereotypes from 1975. I don't identify with about 90% of this. Move on! Being gay doesn't define our entire lives anymore...that's something to celebrate.
Yea, hate to say it, but that's how it is. Gay guys seem to think it's always going to be better 'if only I move to (fill in the blank)'. News flash: being gay is the same whether you live in Fairbanks, Alaska or Key West, Florida. We are an anonymous group of people constantly trying to one-up each other by saying we have doctorate degrees, tons of money, tons of stuff, etc., without even knowing it, we end up coming out to a group that's even more oppressive and exclusionary than the mainstream society we couldn't stand.
I'm happy for the idea of gay marriage - but the sad reality is that the only people who will benefit from this will be the babies born right now who will never know a society without same sex marriage. The majority of gay teens and adults are too emotionally damaged and have such major trust issues amongst each other that I'd bet less than 10% will ever find a relationship that will be headed towards marriage someday. We are taught from day one - and I don't care how progressive a family you come from; eventually you will discover many gay people did not have that kind of family...we are taught that we aren't worthy of trust, respect, inclusion or even acknowledgement. None of us know how to date. All this 'it gets better' shit is terrible to read. Who is it getting better for? We have a society of gay people who couldn't give two flying fucks what happens to other gay people - hey, he never asked if I was negative; why should I tell him? I'll never see him again and I never bothered to ask what his name was. We are such crafty liars that ironically we come out, then we lie to our partners and gay friends about basically everything. What's gone wrong? If so many gay teens drop out of high school and never go back, why are we expecting every gay person to have tons of money, education and high social status? What happened to the dropouts? There is so much image and illusion in the gay (male) community - THAT is why so many of us have said 'never again' to Pride - it's a reminder for a lot of us that coming out was a waste of a life. We came out to be honest and to find others who felt the same way, only to wait 10-15-30 years and discover there isn't anyone out there. The reality is that gay men are 5% of the population; gay women are 5%, and bisexuals...well who knows. With such small choices, and such unrealistic expectations, this is why so few of us are finding anyone, and even fewer find anyone that lasts longer than six months. We are without the skills to know how to socialize with other gay people in an environment that isn't loaded with drugs and alcohol. That's all I wanted to say about that.
musto, you need to start meditating or something. You're all caught up in your ego. let it go. let your true self flower and you'll feel a lot better about yourself and the world.
I’m really happy about your article. I was thinking that I’m the only gay guy with that kind of feeling, actually the last week I wrote something for posting on facebook about why I hate being gay sometimes and this is something that happens not just here in the US, Is something worldwide. I think that I have a hate/love relationship with my sexuality despite being open since my early years. I feel that the gay community is just about sex, looking for a cure, getting tested, be negative or positive, going to the gym, and them fucking randomly...I feel also confuse because I know that is more easily being a straigh person than a gay one...Sorry if you don't understood my english, I just learn how to express myself a few months ago.Thanks for taking your time for read this.
The only thing I hate about being gay is... wait a sec, there isn't anything I hate about being gay. There are a few gay folks I rather detest, but those are individuals and they have only themselves to blame. See y'all at Pride!
I'll NEVER tell you which half dozen or so of these rang WAY too close to home for me (OK: "GYPSY" is one!), but I WILL tell you that YOU remain on a TERRIFIC TEAR this year, Mr. M. Keep it UP! And I can't WAIT for your book to hit!
Those most bugged out by this playful (and appropriately stinging) article (that seems to bite from John Waters' "101 Things I Love / Hate About Los Angeles") seem to be the homos who believe in this idea of "gay community."
We're not one family. We don't and never will think uniformly. (A real bonus.) Homos will be much better off once this illusion of a fraternity / sorority of faggotry is demolished.
And since it is the season for embarrassing parades, the rainbow flag is a terrible joke.