CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Scientists have proved beyond a doubt that heavenly bodies cannot possibly exert forces that affect events on earth, right? Well, no, actually, according to research reported in the December 24, 2009, edition of the science journal Nature. It turns out that the gravitational tug of the sun and moon sends significant tremors through California's San Andreas Fault, and could potentially trigger full-blown earthquakes. Speaking as a poet, not a scientist, I speculate that those two luminaries, the sun and moon, may also generate a lurching but medicinal effect on you sometime soon. Are you ready for a healing jolt? It will relieve the tension that has been building up between two of your "tectonic plates."

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) "Follow your dreams," read the headline on some random blog I stumbled upon, "except for the one in which you're giving a speech in your underwear." In the comments section, someone named "Mystic Fool" had posted a dissenting view: "I would much rather have a dream of giving a speech in my underwear than of being naked and drunk and inarticulate at a cocktail party, trying to hide behind the furniture." Mystic Fool's attitude would serve you well in the coming week, Aquarius. Expressing yourself in a public way, even if you don't feel fully prepared, will actually be a pretty good course of action—especially as compared with keeping silent and hiding.

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Revised and expanded 2009 edition of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings

by Rob Brezsny




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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Some substances that seem to be rock-solid are in fact fluids that move verrrryyy slowly. Bitumen is one example. It's a form of petroleum also known as pitch. In a famous experiment, an Australian researcher set up an apparatus that allowed a blob of pitch to gradually drip into a container below it. Since the experiment began in 1927, eight drops have fallen. I like to think you're engaged in a similar long-term process, Pisces. And from what I can tell, a new drop is about to drip.

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