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Five-Finger Boots Exist, and They Are Horrible

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We feel strongly about shoes, among the worst offenders Crocs, Birkenstocks, man mules, and anything “latticed.” But among the very worst is the five-finger running shoe, a reckless shoe-form that turns feet into virtual fingers. You may recall our previous rants about them — we saw them in October in one of our very own HQ elevators, and didn’t sleep for days. But there’s a new monster in the room. THERE ARE BOOTS. Tall, terrifying, hands-for-feet, sweatery boots. Have you seen anybody on the street wearing these? Have you pushed him or her into a slush puddle just to hear them scream? Gizmodo has an entire gallery. We will be having nightmares.

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