By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
"Kate is an icon in our community," says civil rights attorney and lesbian activist Yetta Kurland. "She's really a national figure. She endorsed me when I ran for City Council, and it was one of the highlights of my campaign. What is so important about her is that she encourages people to think about difference, and she does so with such gentleness and humanity.
"I think of her as a gentle giant," Kurland says.
Kate inhabits a spacious apartment in East Harlem with Mollyanna the pug and Calla Lily the puggle, three cats, a turtle, stacks of books (some written by her and some by her girlfriend, Barbara Carrellas), and the wall hangings, mementos, and trophies of the life of a celebrated performer on the college talk circuit. When I noticed a golden trophy of a stiff cock with wings, she swiped it off the shelf and posed with it for a photo.
She's like that.
I've gotten to know Kate over the past year, mainly through Twitter and the Voice website, and meeting her in her apartment felt like an event. Smoking an electronic cigarette and wearing a Cheshire-cat grin, she sat in her living room as I got to know her and Carrellas and the animals.
Carrellas is enjoying considerable attention of her own for her 2007 book, Urban Tantra, and other sex writing. She spent years working in the theater and had been a general manager on Broadway. After the AIDS epidemic devastated the theater community, she left the large shows and took on edgier performance artists.
"She was representing all of the important ones in New York—except me," Kate says.
I asked how they met, and they credited Annie Sprinkle, who brought them together in 1997.
Sprinkle, the well-known former porn actress (today she's promoting her "eco-sexuality" performance art), says it was in San Francisco that the three of them came together.
Carrellas had booked Sprinkle at the Cowell Theater in San Francisco, and Kate came to the performance.
"There was definitely a spark between them. I was just thrilled to introduce them. I adored them both," Sprinkle says. "I'm a huge fan of Kate's writing. She's super famous in the sex world. There's probably no one in the world of sexuality who hasn't heard of her."
Kate and Barbara are both celebrities in the world of sexology, and it has them on a constant schedule of appearances, giving talks and workshops about sex and gender.
"Colleges bring me out to the campus. That's how I pay the rent," Kate says. And part of her notoriety comes from the dustups she gets involved in.
"There's a whole new generation of radical trannies coming up who won't let me use the word 'tranny,'" she says with a laugh.
Kate ruffled feathers when she would write that even though she had gender-reassignment surgery, she's still not a woman. "This was a big blow to trans people—trans women mostly—whose identity was legitimized by all those medical hoops. So what I said was taken as a direct attack on the validity of their identities as real women," she says.
"I got hit by lesbian feminists, then trans feminists hit me." For years, Kate says, queer and trans activists tried to separate sex from their activism in the post–AIDS epidemic era. But that's changing. "The scene has changed. It's not who's fucking whom; it's how cool can you be about people fucking each other."
Much of her memoir describes her changing ideas about her own body and the sexual politics she encountered as she transitioned. But this is not just another one of her books about gender.
The number-one reason she wrote the book (and she's clear about it in the book itself) was for her daughter and grandchildren. "I want them to see if they want to look. Writing the book has allowed me to let go of the need to reach out to them," she says.
Kate hasn't seen her daughter, Jessica, since 1980. She has never seen her two grandchildren. She's hoping that her book is popular enough that a copy will fall into their hands and provide them with a detailed explanation of how she got to be who she is today—a transsexual, Jewish, lesbian, bipolar, masochistic cutter.
I told her that it did seem like an odd strategy—that in order to reach out to a daughter who has shunned her for more than 30 years, she would do so with graphic descriptions not only of her gender transformation, but also of her s&m adventures.
She nodded, knowingly, and smiled. "It's not the transgender issue she would have a problem with—it's that I left Scientology."
There are many books on Scientology, but last year's Inside Scientology: The Story of America's Most Secretive Religion, by Rolling Stone writer Janet Reitman, was the first mainstream, journalistic telling of the church's history in many years, and the only one to have such reach. Well reviewed and widely read, it should remain the most popular book on the church for some time—at least until New Yorker staff writer Lawrence Wright comes out with the book he's creating from his giant profile on screenwriter-director and ex-Scientologist Paul Haggis, which the magazine published last year.
Tony, thank you for sharing Kate's story with us.
Kate, thank you, for being yourself and continuing to make a positive impact on the world around you. I first heard of who you are from former SO's among my acquaintance, you have been spoken of with the highest regard.
You have all my best wishes,
Character is the indelible mark that determines the only true value of all people and all their work
Oh wow, I never really thought about it like that before.Better-Privacy.tk
I've met Kate a few times and always walked away saying, "that's about the nicest person in the whole world." Totally true. Can't wait to read the book. Big love to you Kate.
Hi Kate - I remember you and Molly from the Hotel Martinique days - your office I think was upstairs from the rest of the org. Looking at your pictures you look like you have lost some weight. You look good but I have a time making the pictures fit with my memories of you in a SO uniform. Ah well. I'd ask how Molly was doing but since you, like me, are no longer part of the Scientology world, I guess I'll let that slide. I know how the undeclared sort of slip away as life continues on without them. I must admit reading Tony's article was a bit of a shock as went from: Bornstein? I knew someone like that, to That Al! to Kate? But, you know, it's cool. I have come to realize that life is much like that old Sly Stone song -Everyday people. So good! I wonder where the people in my life went to, and it always a happy moment to find a lost thread of the fabric of my life.
Back about 1990 I had the pleasure of lunch with Kate. I had my own journey of transformation ahead, and meeting her gave me courage.
Blessings to you, Kate, if you read this. You are a blessing.
I just finished Kate's book. So amazing, funny, surreal, and touching. I have so much respect and love for the life of Kate Bornstein.
The journey of life is often difficult, and winding. To see someone else's path in such intimate detail reminds me of the type of bravery I only hope to have as I move through my own illusion.
I hope only the best for Kate in the future, and what a great article.
Holy smoke. I made the cover of the Village Voice. Holy freakin' smoke.
It's taken me a few days to get it together enough to comment on this story. Tony Ortega is a brave man, a great writer. When he asked to do this story, I was floored. I'm even more floored by the story itself. It would have been easy for Tony to focus solely on the Scientology part of my life, and I'm glad that he *did* write as much as he did—most all of the people who know my work, know little or nothing about how much of an impact Scientology has had on my life. Tony did a great job laying that out.
AND Tony, you totally got the idea of not-man, not-woman. You totally got the idea of the changing definitions of queer and straight—how queer means less and less *who* you're having sex with, and more and more how cool you are about people having (or not having) sex. Sure, queer is a lot about transgressing gender rules—but it's more important that queer includes the celebration of people who do transgress gender, even if you yourself don't do that. So, Tony has written an awesome queer positive, sex positive, gender positive, trans positive story. AND HE MADE IT FUNNY!!!!!
Tony Ortega, you are one of this country's most accomplished investigative journalists, and I'm proud to have been investigated by you in this piece. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
big love & respect
I'm confused: why was she declared suppressive after a full year aboard Appollo? Was it one bad e-meter reading?
what would be more admirable would be if people dressed and acted however they like without involving the medical industry and/or constantly fighting back their true sex.
This is an example of sexual confusion caused by mental illness. And this person obviously had a lot of other problems not related to gender.
outlaw how? this seems to be the common trajectory for male-to-trans, no? not comfortable at playing 'masculine' so switches to playing 'feminine' YAWN
Tony, Did you switch off the Scientology Tag on this one on purpose, it doesn't come up on Scientology News feed .
Even though I personally don't relate to this kind of transformation,I do respect anyone who does and their universal right to go through it.And then share it with anyone who is willing to listen. Thank you Al/Kate.Sending love your way!
I got the book today. I couldn't put it down.
Kate, you ARE A STAR.
Tony, thank you. I wouldn't have known about Kate without your work. Thank you.
Sounds pretty awesome - the book I mean. Oooh, and it's available on Kindle. I bought one :)
(It almost went without saying that Kate is awesome, but I thought I would add it anyway :D )
". . . queer and trans activists tried to separate sex from their activism in the post–AIDS epidemic era," . . .
Food for thought.
To paraphrase Winston Wolf, Kate is a character with character. I hope she reconnects with her family soon.
Kate went from thinking she was saving the planet as a Scientologist, to a journey of self discovery that through her books and talks would shake up the way people think about gender, and especially help that category of unique individuals who struggle with gender issues on a daily basis and need to learn from someone who has also lived it. It may not be clearing the planet, but as she knows from the letters she gets, she has made an important difference in the lives of others. That is no small thing at all.
When I first read a review on Kates new book about 10 days ago I thought "This is a book I would NEVER have thought of reading, but I can't wait to get a copy", Thanks Tony, now I am more keen than ever to!!Great work both of you.
Hahahaha! Yep, I was a very chubby guy back then. Did we know each other? Thanks for your wide open heart. xo K
Read the book, Jgg. She was only on the ship circa 1971-72. Later, in 1982, she ran into the infamous "Financial Police," who only existed a short time. She got declared because she stumbled upon LRH's Swiss Bank connection. It's a fascinating story.
True! I've got LOTS of mental/personality issues. It's my journey through gender that's been keeping me sane and balanced.
It's not a blog post. It's the cover story of the Voice. So it will probably hit the web differently.
I got myself the Kindle version yesterday and read almost all night long. I always wondered what happened to them after Al and Becky came back to FSO. They had lended their condo to me until they came back. But after that we didn't meet anymore there. Al and Becky were humorous, warmhearted while in the Sea Org - opposite of the common anal retentive Scientologists. I'm glad I read her well written, moving, humorous and very special story! Thank you, Kate!
And this is part of the brilliance of Tony's article—he got in so much more than the simple tranny-in-a-cult thing. He analyzed a subculture and gave it some context. A lot of people have written stuff about me. This is my favorite piece ever.
I WILL read the book! The library here in Santa Monica is getting a copy.
My point is that I keep seeing dedicated scientologists "declared" because of one mistake--all their years of commitment didn't buy them any slack (Tory Magoo is another good example--she complained about the OT VII docs not saying much and got booted; so is Shelly Miscavige--one hiring mistake. Tommy Davis--let someone record him admitting that disconnection exists. This could be a book in itself). It is a very heavy handed, cruel organization.
If in doubt about US Banks, use Swiss Banks. Communication formula defined. Cash and gold rules.Every time. Just speculating here.
'gender' seems like such a meaningless thing to build one's life around.- doesn't strike me as progressive.
Omigod, I so want to get in touch with you. Yes, isn't Becky a remarkable woman? I still miss her. Please do get in touch with me—easy to do on twitter—and let's share stories. Please?
It's quite complicated: being effeminate, gay, transgender, trans dressing ang misogynist are all separate, ie a man can be hetero but effeminate, gay but macho, etc. among other things. I think it really depends on what the person likes, ie some people are happy with simple role playing, some not, etc.
Ah, then by all means please accept my sincere apology for any assumption that may have offended you. I tried to speak in the spirit of welcoming, no more than that.
not every homosexual wants to be included in this tribe; not every homosexual thinks in tribal terms
I am SO SORRY if I used queer in a way that made you feel on the outside of some cool club and that you were excluded. I use queer as a tribal political identity. You're gay? Darling, you're tribe. Gays and drag queens were the first ones to stand up and lead the revolution. You're not being left out as "just gay" when people like me say queer. You (like me) have passed the torch on to a new leading edge. You're family to me. And darling, gay has *always* been hip—a jewel of our subculture. Queer is just a weird I use to mean all of that, and I wanted to make sure you know I mean you too.
(but I'm not 'cool' enough to be 'queer' (which even heterosexuals can be now) anyway- I'm just gay)