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"If you had mental charge [on the e-meter] and no crimes this lifetime, you had to look at your past lives and confess those crimes," Kate writes.
After about a year on the Apollo, Al was assigned to the fledgling "org" in New York City. He was sent there with instructions to take it over and "make it go right," in the tradition of the Sea Org. From time to time, Hubbard himself would come to town, and Al would cater to his needs. "He knew his New York pizza. He would only buy the original Ray's in the Village," Kate says.
Describing what it was like to be sent by Hubbard to whip into shape the New York org at the Hotel Martinique, Bornstein again makes the reader feel the excitement of Sea Org life. Sure, they were paid almost nothing, had few resources, and worked ungodly hours, but they were young, they loved the challenge, and they were helping transform the state of mankind itself.
When they were inevitably mocked by outsiders—Scientologists refer to the rest of us as "wogs," Hubbard's co-option of a derogatory British term for people of color—Bornstein writes that it only egged them on further. "Wait till we take over the planet," Kate remembers thinking. "Then we'll see who's laughing."
As a Sea Org lieutenant and then busted down to sales, Al Bornstein knew what made Hubbard's orgs work: money, money, and more money. "In Scientology sales, we were taught to find a person's 'ruin'—whatever it was that was making a person's life miserable and keeping them from achieving their goals. I could find anyone's ruin in minutes—and in less than an hour, I'd've sold them thousands of dollars worth of Scientology services to handle it," Kate writes.
"I saw Al once when he was in Scientology," Tony Lioce says. "That was a little scary. I was still in Providence, and he was in New York being the king of Scientology. That was the one time I saw Al when he wasn't Al, like he wasn't in the right body. He was distant. He was glad to see me, and he was welcoming, but you couldn't talk to him. It was the only time I've known him when you couldn't just drop the bullshit and talk. Every time I'd ask him about it, he'd say: 'You have to be audited. You don't get it.'
"And the thing that was especially strange about it was how military it was and doctrinaire, all the things in the '60s that we opposed. There was no room for questioning, no room for being antiauthoritarian. Of all people to adopt that? Al? It was very off-putting. I was glad to see that end."
Bornstein's tale of disaffection from Scientology has a sense of intrigue—it involves Swiss bank accounts, a rogue group of executives leading a series of purges, and hours of intimidating interrogations—but really, it's the same story we see repeated again and again. After years of superhuman dedication, financial sacrifice, and hermetically sealing themselves from outside influences, one by one, longtime Scientologists tend to reach the same precipice. Forced out through interrogations, disconnected from family members, and simply exhausted by the constant fundraising, many veteran church members go into free fall as they are declared suppressive or simply break away. Some then become the targets of retaliation known as "fair game," which is a well-documented history of using church-hired private eyes and legal harassment.
But Al had other concerns after being suddenly kicked to the curb. He returned home to New Jersey and, three years later, was ready to become Kate. In this revealing book, we learn some particulars about her surgery. And then, there's this rather remarkable little detail: On January 24, 1986, Kate legally changed her name—and remained unaware until much later that on that same day, L. Ron Hubbard died.
Officially, it was a transition for both of them. The church has maintained to this day that Hubbard chose to leave his corporeal body in order to pursue even higher levels of spiritual training somewhere in the galaxy. And Kate—well, she had her own new frontiers to explore.
'I met Kate when she applied to be the advertising director at On Our Backs in the late '80s," says Susie Bright, the well-known sex writer. "I was the editor: 'Entertainment for the Adventurous Lesbian.' It was such a thankless, exasperating job—no one could imagine selling anything to dykes or that gay women had any erotic or material concerns whatsoever. Our whole magazine was a contradiction in terms to most people.
"I remember sitting with Kate on Castro Street on the steps of a local ice cream store. I was so delighted to meet this person—talk about charismatic! She told me that post-surgery, she could orgasm in three different ways, and I was so impressed and envious. This is completely normal interview material for a lesbian-sex magazine.
"Being a former Hollywood resident, I knew all about Scientology, and we cracked each other up with a few war stories. I remember thinking then, When are you going to write your memoir?"
Tony, thank you for sharing Kate's story with us.
Kate, thank you, for being yourself and continuing to make a positive impact on the world around you. I first heard of who you are from former SO's among my acquaintance, you have been spoken of with the highest regard.
You have all my best wishes,
Character is the indelible mark that determines the only true value of all people and all their work
Oh wow, I never really thought about it like that before.Better-Privacy.tk
I've met Kate a few times and always walked away saying, "that's about the nicest person in the whole world." Totally true. Can't wait to read the book. Big love to you Kate.
Hi Kate - I remember you and Molly from the Hotel Martinique days - your office I think was upstairs from the rest of the org. Looking at your pictures you look like you have lost some weight. You look good but I have a time making the pictures fit with my memories of you in a SO uniform. Ah well. I'd ask how Molly was doing but since you, like me, are no longer part of the Scientology world, I guess I'll let that slide. I know how the undeclared sort of slip away as life continues on without them. I must admit reading Tony's article was a bit of a shock as went from: Bornstein? I knew someone like that, to That Al! to Kate? But, you know, it's cool. I have come to realize that life is much like that old Sly Stone song -Everyday people. So good! I wonder where the people in my life went to, and it always a happy moment to find a lost thread of the fabric of my life.
Back about 1990 I had the pleasure of lunch with Kate. I had my own journey of transformation ahead, and meeting her gave me courage.
Blessings to you, Kate, if you read this. You are a blessing.
I just finished Kate's book. So amazing, funny, surreal, and touching. I have so much respect and love for the life of Kate Bornstein.
The journey of life is often difficult, and winding. To see someone else's path in such intimate detail reminds me of the type of bravery I only hope to have as I move through my own illusion.
I hope only the best for Kate in the future, and what a great article.
Holy smoke. I made the cover of the Village Voice. Holy freakin' smoke.
It's taken me a few days to get it together enough to comment on this story. Tony Ortega is a brave man, a great writer. When he asked to do this story, I was floored. I'm even more floored by the story itself. It would have been easy for Tony to focus solely on the Scientology part of my life, and I'm glad that he *did* write as much as he did—most all of the people who know my work, know little or nothing about how much of an impact Scientology has had on my life. Tony did a great job laying that out.
AND Tony, you totally got the idea of not-man, not-woman. You totally got the idea of the changing definitions of queer and straight—how queer means less and less *who* you're having sex with, and more and more how cool you are about people having (or not having) sex. Sure, queer is a lot about transgressing gender rules—but it's more important that queer includes the celebration of people who do transgress gender, even if you yourself don't do that. So, Tony has written an awesome queer positive, sex positive, gender positive, trans positive story. AND HE MADE IT FUNNY!!!!!
Tony Ortega, you are one of this country's most accomplished investigative journalists, and I'm proud to have been investigated by you in this piece. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
big love & respect
I'm confused: why was she declared suppressive after a full year aboard Appollo? Was it one bad e-meter reading?
Read the book, Jgg. She was only on the ship circa 1971-72. Later, in 1982, she ran into the infamous "Financial Police," who only existed a short time. She got declared because she stumbled upon LRH's Swiss Bank connection. It's a fascinating story.
I WILL read the book! The library here in Santa Monica is getting a copy.
My point is that I keep seeing dedicated scientologists "declared" because of one mistake--all their years of commitment didn't buy them any slack (Tory Magoo is another good example--she complained about the OT VII docs not saying much and got booted; so is Shelly Miscavige--one hiring mistake. Tommy Davis--let someone record him admitting that disconnection exists. This could be a book in itself). It is a very heavy handed, cruel organization.
If in doubt about US Banks, use Swiss Banks. Communication formula defined. Cash and gold rules.Every time. Just speculating here.
what would be more admirable would be if people dressed and acted however they like without involving the medical industry and/or constantly fighting back their true sex.
This is an example of sexual confusion caused by mental illness. And this person obviously had a lot of other problems not related to gender.
True! I've got LOTS of mental/personality issues. It's my journey through gender that's been keeping me sane and balanced.
'gender' seems like such a meaningless thing to build one's life around.- doesn't strike me as progressive.
It's quite complicated: being effeminate, gay, transgender, trans dressing ang misogynist are all separate, ie a man can be hetero but effeminate, gay but macho, etc. among other things. I think it really depends on what the person likes, ie some people are happy with simple role playing, some not, etc.
Ah, then by all means please accept my sincere apology for any assumption that may have offended you. I tried to speak in the spirit of welcoming, no more than that.
not every homosexual wants to be included in this tribe; not every homosexual thinks in tribal terms
I am SO SORRY if I used queer in a way that made you feel on the outside of some cool club and that you were excluded. I use queer as a tribal political identity. You're gay? Darling, you're tribe. Gays and drag queens were the first ones to stand up and lead the revolution. You're not being left out as "just gay" when people like me say queer. You (like me) have passed the torch on to a new leading edge. You're family to me. And darling, gay has *always* been hip—a jewel of our subculture. Queer is just a weird I use to mean all of that, and I wanted to make sure you know I mean you too.
(but I'm not 'cool' enough to be 'queer' (which even heterosexuals can be now) anyway- I'm just gay)
outlaw how? this seems to be the common trajectory for male-to-trans, no? not comfortable at playing 'masculine' so switches to playing 'feminine' YAWN
Tony, Did you switch off the Scientology Tag on this one on purpose, it doesn't come up on Scientology News feed .
Even though I personally don't relate to this kind of transformation,I do respect anyone who does and their universal right to go through it.And then share it with anyone who is willing to listen. Thank you Al/Kate.Sending love your way!
I got the book today. I couldn't put it down.
Kate, you ARE A STAR.
Tony, thank you. I wouldn't have known about Kate without your work. Thank you.
I got myself the Kindle version yesterday and read almost all night long. I always wondered what happened to them after Al and Becky came back to FSO. They had lended their condo to me until they came back. But after that we didn't meet anymore there. Al and Becky were humorous, warmhearted while in the Sea Org - opposite of the common anal retentive Scientologists. I'm glad I read her well written, moving, humorous and very special story! Thank you, Kate!
Sounds pretty awesome - the book I mean. Oooh, and it's available on Kindle. I bought one :)
(It almost went without saying that Kate is awesome, but I thought I would add it anyway :D )
". . . queer and trans activists tried to separate sex from their activism in the post–AIDS epidemic era," . . .
Food for thought.
To paraphrase Winston Wolf, Kate is a character with character. I hope she reconnects with her family soon.
Kate went from thinking she was saving the planet as a Scientologist, to a journey of self discovery that through her books and talks would shake up the way people think about gender, and especially help that category of unique individuals who struggle with gender issues on a daily basis and need to learn from someone who has also lived it. It may not be clearing the planet, but as she knows from the letters she gets, she has made an important difference in the lives of others. That is no small thing at all.
When I first read a review on Kates new book about 10 days ago I thought "This is a book I would NEVER have thought of reading, but I can't wait to get a copy", Thanks Tony, now I am more keen than ever to!!Great work both of you.