Theater

Cringe-Worthy Lyrics From Broadway Shows

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Here are some of the most crazy-making clunkers, as reported by the commenters on broadwayworld.com, who’ve seen everything:

“All these things you saw in your pajamas/
Are a long-range forecast for your farmers”

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

“If you don’t sit still
You’ll have the face of Edith Sitwell”

Aspects of Love

“There’s one life and there’s no return and no deposit
One life, so it’s time to open up your closet”

La Cage aux Folles

“To kill outside St. Paul’s
Requires a lot of balls”

Jekyll & Hyde

“Hey love eyes
You in those levis!
Your lipstick’s wet and waiting for my smear
Hey love eyes
Come here!”

Whoop-Up

“It’s my night, Sammy, all mine, Sammy
And you can’t give it your well-known whammy”

Woman of the Year

“You’re far too keen on where and how, but not so hot on why.”

–Jesus singing to God in Jesus Christ Superstar

“Garlic! Garlic! The secret to staying yong
Garlic! Garlic! It’s why we’re so well-hung”

Dance of The Vampires

Wait a minute. I actually sort of like that one! Is something wrong with me?

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