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“My Job Is Fucked”: NY Republicans Respond to Four More Years of “Obamunism”

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New York Republican Party chairman Ed Cox started last night’s “victory party” in a ballroom at the Westin Grand Central hotel in midtown by assuring the roughly 300 attendees that he was confident that Mitt Romney would be the country’s next president.

By the end of the night, Cox looked like someone shit in his cereal — and he wasn’t the only one.

In the roughly four hours we spent celebrating a nonexistent victory
with the state’s GOP, we watched the mood go from jovial (read: tipsy)
to hopeful to worried. By 10:30 p.m., as it became clear that securing
the must-win states of Florida and Ohio for Romney was out of the
question, New York’s Republicans acted like teenage drama queens.

“My job is fucked,” one woman sobbed into a cell phone.

When
we asked her what she did for a living — thinking that she’s probably a
healthcare worker who might feel the wrath of the implementation of
Obama care — she responded, “I’m a manager at a hotel.”

Another man explained that he was “reluctant to call [Obama] evil,” but he leaves “aborted babies suffering in the sheets.”

He
then summed up the impending loss by claiming that “the Dems have a
better ground game — a get-out-the-vote game — than we do.”

Of course! It’s not unpopular policies — barging their way into people’s
bedrooms by telling gay people they can’t get married, or pissing off Hispanics (the largest emerging voter bloc in the
entire country) by failing to embrace comprehensive immigration-reform measures like the DREAM Act — that doomed Romney, it’s the lack of a “ground game.”

Another woman screeched that she doesn’t “understand how an unqualified person can be president — and he wins again!”

Must be the ground game.

Some
other observations from last night’s “victory party” include the
following: failed Senate candidate Wendy Long gave a concession speech.
But only about 20 people heard it — as she admitted defeat, the
majority of the attendees were sipping drinks and barely paying
attention. Missouri Senate candidate Todd “legitimate rape” Akin’s
inevitable defeat was no skin off the ass of New York Republicans —
there was barely a “sigh” as Fox News reported the loss. Even New York’s
right-wingers seem to think Akin’s an asshole.

The most apparent
observation we made during last night’s party was the lack of color —
and we’re not talking about the decorations. We counted approximately
nine black people. Nine. In New York City.

Just prior to Romney’s
concession speech, Conservative columnist Charles Krauthammer appeared
on Fox News and said the following: “Republicans need to rethink how they address Hispanics.”

And
while the missed opportunity to embrace Hispanic voters probably led to
Romney’s only receiving about 30 percent of the Hispanic vote, that’s
just part of the problem Republicans must address before they try their
hand at national politics again.

GOP candidates could appeal to much of
mainstream America when it comes to economic and foreign policies. And
according to a lot of the polling taken before the election, they did.
But then idiots like Akin start talking about things like “legitimate
rape” and how a couple of dudes who love each other shouldn’t be
allowed to tie the knot because a fictitious book written thousands of
years ago says so.   

The hateful stupidity of the GOP’s social policies distracts from legitimate issues — and that’s why Mitt Romney lost last night.

But what do we know? It was probably just the “ground game.”

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