By Keegan Hamilton
By Albert Samaha
By Village Voice staff
By Tessa Stuart
By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
ARIES [March 21–April 19] Wageni ni baraka is a Swahili proverb that means "guests are a blessing." That's not always true, of course. Sometimes guests can be a burden. But for you in the coming weeks, Aries, I'm guessing the proverb will be 98 percent correct. The souls who come calling are likely to bestow unusually fine benefits. They might provide missing links you've been searching for. They might inspire you to see things about yourself, and they might even give you shiny new playthings. Open your heart to the unexpected blessings.
TAURUS [April 20–May 20] "I feel my fate in what I cannot fear," said Theodore Roethke in his poem "The Waking." I invite you to try out that perspective, Taurus. In other words, learn more about your destiny by doing what makes you feel brave. Put your trust in dreams that inspire you to sweep aside distracting worries.
GEMINI [May 21–June 20] It's the First Annual Blemish Appreciation Week—for Geminis only. One of the best ways to observe this holiday is to not just tolerate the flaws of other people, but also to forgive them. Another excellent way to celebrate is to do the same for your own flaws and foibles: Applaud them for the rousing lessons they've taught. I might be joking a little about this, but I'm mostly serious. Be creative and uninhibited as you have fun with the human imperfections that normally drive you crazy.
CANCER [June 21–July 22] When I turn my psychic vision in your direction, I see scenes of heavy rain, maybe even a flood. I'm pretty sure this has a metaphorical significance. It probably means you will be inundated with more feelings than you've experienced in a while. Not bad or out-of-control feelings; just deep and enigmatic and brimming with nuance. How to respond? First, announce to the universe that you will be glad to accept this deluge. Second, go with the flow. Third, promise yourself not to come to premature conclusions about the meaning of these feelings; let them evolve.
LEO [July 23–August 22] "I want to know more about you" might be the most potent sentence you can utter. If spoken with sincere curiosity, it will awaken dormant synergies. It will make you smarter and work as a magic spell that gives you access to useful information you wouldn't be able to crack open with any other method. To begin the process of imbuing your subconscious mind with its incantatory power, say "I want to know more about you" aloud 10 times right now.
VIRGO [August 23–September 22] My hotel was nice, but the neighborhood where it was located seemed sketchy. As I returned to my room after a jaunt to the store, I received inquiries from two colorfully dressed hookers. I also passed a lively man who proposed that I purchase some of his top-grade drugs. I thanked them all for their thoughtful invitations but said I wasn't in the mood. Then I slipped back into my hotel room. My experience could have something in common with your immediate future. I suspect you may be tempted with offers that seem exotic and adventurous but are not really that good for you. Stick to the healthy basics, please.
LIBRA [September 23–October 22] A West Coast DJ named Shakti Bliss wrote a remarkable status update on her Facebook page. Here's an edited excerpt: "In the past 24 hours, I did yoga in a bathtub, hauled furniture by myself in the rain, got expert dating advice from an 11-year-old, learned the lindy hop, saw a rainbow over the ocean, had thrift store clothes stolen out of my car by a homeless man, made a magic protection amulet out of a piece of cardboard, was fed quinoa soup by the buffest 50-year-old South African woman I've ever met, bowed to a room full of applause, and watched two of my favorite men slow dance together to Josephine Baker singing in French." I suspect that you Libras will be having days like that in the coming week: packed with poetic adventures.
SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] Thomas Jefferson, third president of the United States, called himself a Christian. But he also acknowledged that there weren't any other Christians like him. He said he belonged to a sect consisting of one person: himself. He had no use for the supernatural aspects of the stories told in the New Testament, so he created his own version of the Bible, using only those parts he agreed with. Is there a set of ideas that appeals to you in some ways but not in others? Tailor it to your own special needs.
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] "Everyone is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day," said writer Elbert Hubbard. "Wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit." Judging from my personal experience, I'd say that five minutes is a lowball figure. In the coming weeks you might have many days when you're not a damn fool for even five seconds. In fact, you may break your all-time records for levels of wild, pure wisdom. Make constructive use of your enhanced intelligence!