By Alan Scherstuhl
By Charles Taylor
By Melissa Anderson
By Inkoo Kang
By Amy Nicholson
By Sam Weisberg
By Stephanie Zacharek
By Chuck Wilson
Thus we have the release of Old Goats, a sporadically amusing comedy about three retirees struggling to find meaningful ways to spend the rest of their lives. Britt, Bob, and Dave aren't as cranky as the film's title makes them sound. Played by first-time actors Britton Crosley, Bob Burkholder, and David Vander Wal, respectively, they're simply afraid of trying anything new, and of being captive to that neophobia.
Dave is our guide to his friends.
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To his left is Bob, a grizzled gnome with shaky hands who's trying to sell a book about his life, which includes years as an adventurer and nights with dozens of women.
To his right is Britt, an unkempt dreamer who hasn't slept with a woman since the nation's bicentennial but is finally ready for a date. Britt's buds trip over one another to give him advice, but he might need more help than they think. "It's built into the computer, right?" he asks of the Internet.
It's only much later that Dave informs him of web porn. "Can you get Bettie Page online?" Britt asks in hushed reverence. Britt's adventures in online dating are easily the most enjoyable parts of this eager-to-please but creaky and shambling movie. Page's home videos made pointing and shooting a camera look easy; Old Goats proves it's not.
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