Fairy Tales!

"This is my Behind the Music!" exclaims Ashley Blue in Cock Star (JM), which for the last week I've been watching in seven- or eight-minute segments. It's a happy coincidence that VH1 just premiered a special on Jenna Jameson, timed to promote her new, apparently instructional, autobio How to Make Love Like Porn Star (hint: cum on her face). I watched as much of that as I could stand last night—didn't make it to the happy ending, though I gave it eight minutes. Jenna is the original cock star, famous for elevating what is essentially goopy groupie-dom to the stage. Her cock, of course, is metaphorical. (Or is it metaphysical? Where's my Penthouse Erotic Video Guide when I need it?)

Jenna's fairy tale—set in Vegas and complete with an evil stepmother, it's as predictable as any episode of Behind the Music—reinforces the notion that most women in porn were at one time sexually abused. Her first love, a biker–tattoo artist she calls "Jack" (this is ironic, since he didn't have to when she turned him on), invited Jenna out on a boat when she was 16. It turns out Jack's dad and his sleazy biker buddies decided to join them. Then Jack's dad raped Jenna. (In the episode, while his face is pixilated like some Japorno penis, the fucking asshole denies the allegation, delivering the classic I-don't-need-to-rape-to-get-laid story—"I've had plenty of girls"—then tries to claim she came onto him.)

Jenna stayed with Jack, who cheated on her, and got a job stripping, but only after her brother removed her braces with a pair of pliers. (That must've bit!) And then we find out Vinny Farachi, the nudie bar owner, was just kidding when he said she needed to get rid of her dental work. (What a kick in the teeth!) Other than that, we basically see a bunch of photos of her dancing and her dicky police officer dad posing with guns. Oh, and they never mention when she got her fakies. I just hope her brother didn't help with that procedure.


Cock Star

The Masseuse

So anyways, Jenna's new movie is The Masseuse (Vivid), and it's decent. She can't act at all, but the lead stud plays this really nervous and shy horn dog character quite well. Jenna gives him a pretty fucking hot hand job after shaving his pubes, which was just sort of weird, and later he ties her up and gently fucks her face. (She blows bubbles with his cum, which is always nice.)

Cock Star is much dirtier and more honest. It starts with an interview in which the ever quotable Ashley chats about becoming a whore. "I did all that meat hole bullshit. I was really badly abused," she says. Then laughing, she corrects herself: "I was abused really well—there you go!" Then she gets face fucked upside down. Jenna and Ashley have only one thing in common; they both feel as if they've triumphed over their abusers by taking control of an exploitative system (Jenna's rich and mainstream, while Ashley has an unusual degree of control over her flicks). "I used all that knowledge I got from being knocked around sexually and emotionally," Ashley explains. "I turned it around." I can't help but think of Diana Ross's ode to a cheating lover, "Upside Down," in which getting turned "around and round" is both ecstasy and inescapable affliction.

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JM, 9140 Owensmouth Avenue, Chatsworth, CA 91311, jerkoffzone.com

Vivid, 15127 Califa Street, Van Nuys, CA 91411, vivid.com

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