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1999 Stories by Bill Jensen

Archives: 2011 | 2000 | 1999
  • A Man Among Boys

    published December 14, 1999

    Stephen Simmons reads a lot. He has sped so quickly through the New Jersey jail's library in the two years he's been locked up that he's already... More >>

  • Leaving Your Past Behind

    published November 30, 1999

    Two months ago in California, a thrift-store owner bought the contents of a storage unit at an auction for 20 bucks. As she picked through the... More >>

  • Where's the beef?

    published November 16, 1999

    In a protest movement that's strictly from hunger, Nassau Community College's students can almost taste victory. But that elusive fast-food... More >>

  • Waking Andy Kaufman

    published November 9, 1999

    There are no empty beer cans or cigarette butts that can guide you to his grave. No crowds. No security guard. No graffiti on the neighboring... More >>

  • Resident evil

    published October 26, 1999

    Amityville cop Ken Greguski had just gotten a sandwich— roast beef or ham and cheese, he doesn't remember— from a deli on lower Broadway... More >>

  • Wednesday night bummer club

    published October 19, 1999

    Guys with a fetish for $10 whores love to sing along with Stephen Lynch. A frequent guest on the Opie and Anthony Show on WNEW-FM/102.7... More >>

  • The ultimate scalping guide to the Mets-Braves weekend

    published October 19, 1999

    You're a real Met fan, not some corporate bandwagon - jumper who has never seen Shea Stadium in the light of the regular season. But unless you're... More >>

  • Over a barrel

    published September 28, 1999

    All I had was a body, a barrel and two pieces of jewelry. Plus a phone number for a Howard Elkins of Boca Raton, Fla. It was Sept. 4. I was... More >>

  • Sticking It In Your Ear

    published September 21, 1999

    If you went to buy a certain book on the American Revolution last week at the Borders in Stony Brook, you might have gotten more revolting... More >>

  • F is also for fright

    published September 14, 1999

    Sherwood Forest. Central Park. Blair Woods. The world has its share of places that you just don't venture into at night. But if you ask college... More >>

  • Route 110: The Boulevard of Dreams

    published September 7, 1999

    From his apartment over a garage in Huntington Station, store clerk Ricardo Alcos sees a Long Island where the car is not king, where single... More >>

  • Read My Lips: Jeff Dunham and Friends

    published September 7, 1999

    Cranky, old-fart dummy Walter has spent his entire life with Jeff Dunham's hand up his ass. The Texas-bred ventriloquist will bring Walter and... More >>

  • Schmoozing with the Original Sweater

    published August 31, 1999

    As the golden-throated, sweater-clad nice guy of Sesame Street's original human Fab Four— along with Gordon, Susan and Mr.... More >>

  • None More Black

    published August 31, 1999

    The ranter of the moment is Lewis Black. With saliva flying as fast as his insults, Black goes on a two-minute diatribe virtually every night... More >>

  • Julian Koster's loop-the- loop

    published August 17, 1999

    I still have the scar on my left butt cheek from the time Julian Koster strategically placed a pencil on my chair in fourth grade. Fifteen years... More >>

Archives: 2011 | 2000 | 1999