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2003 Stories by George Smith

Archives: 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000 | 1999
  • Pop-Rock Podiatrist Statistics Deal or Don't With Their Achin' Feets

    published December 30, 2003

    Full of sincerity from tasteful and famous musicians in the pop record business, the Bangles' Doll Revolution is custom-made for the Oxygen... More >>

  • There Once Was A Band Called Nantucket, And These Aren't Them, But Fuck It

    published December 30, 2003

    Englishmen Ten Benson have the image of the rural Yank heevahava wrong on Benson Burner. The bottoms of the chicks slung over their... More >>

  • Old Jim Dandy Mimic, Young AC/DC Mimics Brown Noses

    published December 23, 2003

    David Lee doesn't look like Jim Dandy anymore. Nope, there he sits on Diamond Dave, with garments all the colors of kryptonite and gals in... More >>

  • Young und Reich

    published December 2, 2003

    Young, fast, and scientific, Hanzel und Gretyl's ersatz Kraut-rock makes dance-metal out of the goose step and sieg heil. Über Alles... More >>

  • Beware the Real Low-Rent Puke-and-Boogie Blues, Buster

    published November 11, 2003

    A story in the L.A. Daily Snob recently mentioned how New York's David Johansen was avidly embracing the blues. He was appearing at a... More >>

  • Kranky Synth-Punk Francs Finally Flail Their Flesh and Blood for Foreigners

    published November 4, 2003

    While patriots condemn the French for not being proper sycophants to Uncle Sam's forever war, I have always applauded the naturally obstinate and... More >>

  • You So Stupid

    published October 28, 2003

    Brooks & Dunn's year-old TNN special on ZZ Top laid out everything you must know about the band. If ZZ answered a single query from the duo with... More >>

  • Ace Ace Babies

    published October 14, 2003

    Involving children in sexual things makes many people pop their loads. So it is appropriate that stupid people in Australia should be persuaded to... More >>

  • Sensitively Stringed Soundtrack for a Self-Circumcision

    published October 7, 2003

    Yellowcard's Ocean Avenue clearly has to be in the MP3 player of Matt McNamara, the spoiled son of the sincere plastic surgeon, Sean, on... More >>

  • Breaking All the House Rules Until Your Head Cracks Open

    published September 23, 2003

    Harvey Milk are what you get when a college-town metal trio opts for playing the altie pits over frat beer bashes. Such bands make no money and... More >>

  • Come Back to the Norway Bath Haus, Udo Dirkschneider

    published September 9, 2003

    Not worth the dust the wind blows in their faces, the Turbonegro dudes seize upon the crank's idea that there's a career opening for a camp... More >>

  • 'Freewheeling Zealots'

    published September 9, 2003

    Conceived to maintain the technological supremacy of the U.S. military against all challengers, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency... More >>

  • The Fake Glee Of Thousands

    published September 2, 2003

    Most perverse thing I've heard in the last year or so has to be Deadsy: Rigor mortis guitar and synths from Cher's son, a SoCal parvenu who mixed... More >>

  • 'Screamo'-or- Whatever Hopefuls Prepare to Grow Old and Croak

    published September 2, 2003

    Unbidden, the cable company hosed Vendetta Red into my home. There those Red boys were: happy-looking fellows, capering onstage while an audience... More >>

  • Tiny Tims Stomp Hands, Clap Feet, Hail England's Amps

    published August 12, 2003

    If Tony Blair, friend to all Americans, fancied false metal, the Darkness would be his band. Their singer has the PM's upper-crust accent in his... More >>

  • Death Rides A Pale Shade

    published June 24, 2003

    Not ornate, stately, or even faintly progressive by Procol Harum standards, Liquorice John Death's Ain't Nothin' to Get Excited About... More >>

  • Nonsmoking Smoking Guns

    published June 17, 2003

    "For those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong. We found them," Bush said May 30. Keep... More >>

  • Soy Unchained

    published June 17, 2003

    "We are the future of rock but due to endless bad luck we're in ruins." That's the grim news from the Liquid Tapedeck's Peter Etc. (or Math Jokes... More >>

  • Pop Farts

    published June 3, 2003

    My best woman pal has a theory that worldwide pollution, coupled with the jamming of hormones and antibiotics into beef cattle, has impacted men... More >>

  • Train Rolls Again

    published May 27, 2003

    Few twentysomethings playing six-string this year sound as fine as journeymen Gypie Mayo, Chris Dreja, John Idan, and the half-dozen rock... More >>

  • Many Manly Returns

    published May 20, 2003

    From the Cart Before the Horse file: Here comes the Black Keys' Thickfreakness, arriving in multiple copies in SoCal BestBuys three weeks... More >>

  • Jump on the Grenade

    published May 6, 2003

    What happened to guitar heroes? They're all on remastering schedules. Angus Young, Mick Ronson, Leslie West—get 'em now in the... More >>

  • The Kevlar Brain Bucket

    published April 15, 2003

    While slashing through the streets of Baghdad and sending people to the hospitals at the rate of 100 an hour, American invasion forces wore the... More >>

  • The Saddamizers

    published April 8, 2003

    Behold the Saddamizers, 4,700-pound bunker-busting bombs visited on Baghdad and environs, brought to you by some of the same wild and crazy guys... More >>

  • 'Complete Idiot's Guide to War'

    published April 1, 2003

    The book behind what has become the most vilified and ridiculed American slogan in recent history should be on everyone's coffee table. In... More >>

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