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2007 Stories by Gustavo Arellano

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  • The Chihuahua of the Soul

    published December 25, 2007

    Q. As everyone knows, dogs seem to reflect their masters' personalities. Likewise, the breeds invented by a nation say a lot about that... More >>

  • Special Year-End Edición

    published December 18, 2007

    Dear Readers: Gracias, thank you, gracias for another successful year. The Mexican now appears in 32 newspapers across the... More >>

  • The Mexican Comfort Zone

    published December 11, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: U.S. citizens are sick and tired of the fact that for more than 40 years, Latin American elites have lived like monarchs... More >>

  • Mass Hysteria

    published December 4, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: I'm sad that there aren't more Mexicans here in the Detroit area. We're one of the few areas in the country that is... More >>

  • Asking the Cheese Whiz

    published November 27, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: I was born in beautiful El Paso, and my parents are from Juaritos. I always wondered why Mexican restaurants en los Estados... More >>

  • Special Long-Questions Edition

    published November 20, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: With a scant four weeks before I cram my mochila with a few clothes for me and a hoard of presents (read: bribes) for... More >>

  • That New-Car Smell

    published November 13, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: What's the deal with Spanish-language car-dealership commercials that feature bikini-clad porn-star wannabes copulating with... More >>

  • Lou Dobbs Needs a Check-Up

    published November 6, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: Is Lou Dobbs right when he says that close to 80 hospitals in California have been closed down because of the illegals, or is... More >>

  • Help Me Insult My Friends

    published October 30, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: I like to think that I'm an open-minded sorta guy for a teenager. I fervently oppose racial stereotypes, though I do think... More >>

  • Scary Day of the Dead Edición

    published October 23, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: How do I go to the Mexican grocery store and bakery to buy supplies for our Día de los Muertos party without looking... More >>

  • Sex and the Pueblo

    published October 16, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: Why do so many of my peers assume I must have low self- esteem just because I'm dating a Mexican guy? I finally found someone... More >>

  • Refried Questions

    published October 2, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: We were in a restaurant the other day eating some refried beans and green chili, when I overheard some gringos in the next... More >>

  • Minding Mencia

    published September 25, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: I'm a minority, and I know we can be overly sensitive sometimes, but I just can't stand Carlos Mencia. Not only are his jokes... More >>

  • Special Back-to-School Edició

    published September 18, 2007

    Q. After the great migration of Jews to this nation, a question was posed: "How long does it take a Jew to go from being a street sweeper to... More >>

  • Hot Spot

    published September 11, 2007

    Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed-Mexican heritage.... More >>

  • Special Guest Columnist Edition

    published September 4, 2007

    Q. I am addressing this to both "¡Ask a Mexican!" and "Savage Love," hoping one of you will have an answer to this: Why do Mexican chicks... More >>

  • Big Words About a Little Rodent

    published August 28, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: A new line of Speedy Gonzalez clothing came out earlier this year. As a black vendor in a predominantly Mexican market, I... More >>

  • Don't Call Her Rosa Parks

    published August 21, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: Do you agree with immigration-rights activists calling Elvira Arellano—who is an illegal immigrant AND a criminal, I... More >>

  • ¡You've Got Mail, Pendejo!

    published August 14, 2007

    Dear Readers: It's not just questions and racist rants that invade the Mexican's mailbox—your feedback sneaks under my digital fence,... More >>

  • Field This!

    published August 7, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: I had a heated discussion in my van pool with a couple of gringos where they made a comment that immigration (both legal and... More >>

  • To Surname, With Love

    published July 31, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: I've run into a problem with my wife. I'd like to proudly display our last name on the back window of the family car, but she... More >>

  • Shear Madness

    published July 10, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: Why don’t Mexicans ever drop their Spanish? Even third- and fourth-generation Mexican-Americans still speak the language... More >>

  • Special Amnesty Edicion

    published July 3, 2007

    Dear Gabachos: You love us, you really love us! Mere moments after the Senate allowed an amnesty bill to collapse like the peso's value, ... More >>

  • Took Spanish, Got a B

    published June 26, 2007

    Dear Mexican: Why don't Mexicans have enough gratitude for America to learn to speak English? Are they too stupid? Too lazy? What—they... More >>

  • The Poop on Being 'Illegal'

    published June 19, 2007

    Q. Dear Mexican: What is it about the word "illegal" that Mexicans don't understand? Mondo Minuteman A. Dear Gabacho: Take... More >>

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