rss Email Author Gustavo Arellano


2010 Stories by Gustavo Arellano

Archives: 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006
  • Poetry for the Chingon

    published June 29, 2010

    Dear Readers: The Arizona pendejas have emboldened hundreds of Know Nothings in the past week to boast to the Mexican that... More >>

  • Gustavo Arellano

    Why Mexicans Hate Soccer

    published June 22, 2010

    Dear Mexican: Why do the Mexicans HATE American soccer and "hate" (bolded, underlined, and italicized) Landon Donovan? —Uncle Sam's... More >>

  • Don't Be a Douche

    published June 15, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I'm a civil rights lawyer, and I sue the San Diego Minutemen. Whenever the Minutemen are accused of being racist, they always... More >>

  • Hot Issues for Another Pinche Summer

    published June 8, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I worked a summer job during college in Southern Arizona during the late 1960s, where most of my co-workers were Mexicans from... More >>

  • Graduates, Keep Going!

    published June 1, 2010

    I work at a high school where there is a significant number of students without papers. What do you recommend to undocumented students... More >>

  • Ethnic Studies for Know-Nothings

    published May 25, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I have a sister. I read your column each time it comes out in the Tucson Weekly. Once, we were talking... More >>

  • 'My Sons Beat Up Mexicans'

    published May 18, 2010

    Dear Readers: Over the past couple of weeks, the Know Nothing nation has invaded my inbox with the question of why the United States can't... More >>

  • How to Insult a Mexican

    published May 11, 2010

    Dear Readers: I was supposed to deliver this column to ustedes for Cinco de Drinko, but Arizona's reprehensible S.B.1070 bill had to... More >>

  • Arizona Boycott!

    published May 4, 2010

    For those of ustedes too occupied with the your Drinko por Cinco hangover, the initiative I mentioned (signed a few weeks ago into law... More >>

  • Full Mental Jacket

    published April 27, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I live in a Northeastern city, and a game I play with myself during the cold, wintry months is counting how many Mexicans I... More >>

  • Mexico of the Mind

    published April 20, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I have a friend who frequently wears a T-shirt that boldly states in big, bad-ass, Old English letters, "Hecho en... More >>

  • Mexican Women Tired of Your Lazy Ass

    published April 13, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I've dated a few Mexican girls in the past couple of years and I've come to realize one big, important thing—most of the... More >>

  • White Mexicans, and Other Non-Census

    published April 6, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I know Mexicans and pochos can be black, white, Asian, or indios, but I just got my... More >>

  • Gustavo Arellano

    In Honor of April Fools' Day: A Minuteman Takes Over Ask a Mexican

    published March 30, 2010

    Dear Readers: In honor of April Fools' Day, I turn this column over to Jim Gilchrist, founder of the Minuteman Project movement, to answer your... More >>

  • George Lopez, Hack

    published March 24, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I just read that Speedy Gonzales is getting his own feature film and will be voiced by George Lopez. I read in the... More >>

  • Latino Heat

    published March 16, 2010

    Dear Mexican: By now, I'm sure you're aware of all the hate crimes against Hispanics in the past few years. So my question to you is: Can't... More >>

  • Gustavo Arellano

    Want Cheese With That?

    published March 9, 2010

    Dear Mexican: When I was in high school, everyone called the Mexican students like myself "cheddars." I'm not sure where this originated... More >>

  • Are Mexicans Bullies?

    published March 2, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I'm a pan blanco, and my wife is puertorriqueña. Our son looks basically... More >>

  • Labored Breath

    published February 23, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I am a lifelong resident of Arizona and have worked side by side with illegals for 25 years as a... More >>

  • Gracias for Cheap Eats

    published February 16, 2010

    Dear Mexican: People talk about the costs of illegal immigration on our society. What about the savings? Has there been any research into... More >>

  • Special Sexy Edition: Trannies Need Love, Too

    published February 9, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I've been attracted to transgendered women since I was about 13. I've noticed, however, that most trannies are Hispanic. I've... More >>

  • Gustavo Arellano

    ¡Ask a Mexican! The Narco Stain

    published February 2, 2010

    Dear Mexican: How can a formerly proud Latina like myself feel proud to be Mexican again after my beloved relative was murdered in Mexico by... More >>

  • ¡Ask a Mexican! In Praise of Fast Mexican Fare

    published January 26, 2010

    Why do so many Mexicans work for Taco Bell and El Pollo Loco? Don't they know they only add false credence to the belief that this is... More >>

  • The Spoiled American

    published January 19, 2010

    Dear Readers: The wisest words that appear in this column always come from you, and the following two letters prove this maxim. The first one... More >>

  • ¡Ask a Mexican! Rebel Amnesty?

    published January 12, 2010

    Dear Mexican: I'm surprised by the choice of the word "amnesty" by those who would demonize immigration reform, especially in the South.... More >>

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