Email Author Lorne Behrman

1999 Stories by Lorne Behrman

• Shtick Figures

  published November 9, 1999

  You know man, after every time I whack off, I put on some rock 'n' roll—Zep, Sabbath, the Stones—anything with feel-it-in-your-'nads... More >>

• Roto-Roots Rock Flushes Your Troubles Down the Drain

  published October 26, 1999

  It had me on the shitter for days back in 1996, that Supersuckers record, Must've Been High (though my coffee-grind-and-Ramen diet probably... More >>

• Bummertime Blues

  published July 6, 1999

  Dude, you know what I heard? Before Stevie Nicks started paying people to blow cocaine up her ass, Fleetwood Mac was led by some staunch... More >>

• The Spaghetti Incident?

  published April 13, 1999

  After that motherfucker from an East Village bodega (which shall remain nameless for legal reasons) threw me out for reading an article on Bad... More >>