Email Author Michael Musto

Awards

• 2012 - AAN AltWeekly Awards

  "Why I Hate Being Gay! 62 Reasons!"

• 2012 - AAN AltWeekly Awards

  "Help! Blandness Has Taken Over Our Culture!"

• 2012 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published August 31, 2011

  "Fame Is Better Than Drugs And I Want To Mainline That Shit"

• 2011 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published June 22, 2010

  "Kicked in the Groin at Every Glittery Turn"

• 2011 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published August 18, 2010

  "Where's My Book?"

• 2011 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published December 29, 2010

  "Year in Review"

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2008 Stories by Michael Musto

• The Best Bad Movies of All Time

  published Oct 16, 2008

  As the ringleader of a bad-movie club that's met for years--bonded together in horror--I've sat through literally hundreds of so-bad-they're-great flicks that are as perversely entertaining as fiery... More >>

• Why Madonna and Guy Were A Bad Idea

  published Oct 16, 2008

  *First of all, he's way homophobic. And let's face it: To be married to Madonna and not care for the sight of gays makes as much sense as a diabetic in a candy shop. *He's a director. Director/star... More >>

• Where To Find Inexpensive Outfits and Blow Jobs

  published Oct 15, 2008

  It's the "Best of NYC" issue, so naturally my column this week is an essay detailing the most fabulous places in town to find cheap clothing, reasonable food, and even free glory holes! Click here a... More >>

• Shocker! Hollywood Actor is Really Straight!

  published Oct 15, 2008

  No, you have to believe me on this, people. There's really a heterosexual guy on TV. And he's actually quiet about it! And he's even played a gay! I'm talking about Doug Savant, who portrays Tom Sc... More >>

• Marcia, Marcia, Marcia Was a Druggie, Druggie, Druggie

  published Oct 15, 2008

  I am always riveted when a squeaky clean sitcom star turns out to have spiraled into decay and despair. Who can ever forget that Eight is Enough starlet who found herself escaping the set of snuff f... More >>

• The Best Places To Find '80s Prices!

  published October 15, 2008

  I miss the '80s even more than I miss my twenties. I was really famous then. I was glamorously swept into clubs with my entourage—yes, I... More >>

• Gossip's Girls on the Prowl

  published Oct 14, 2008

  Spotted walking around the West Village the other night: Gossip Girl's Chase Crawford and Ed Westwick and two other friends. For about a quarter of a block, housemates Chase and Ed locked arms in a ... More >>

• Faye Dunaway Still Full of Piss and Vinegar

  published Oct 14, 2008

  Oscar winner Faye Dunaway--who delighted a whole generation of sick gays by beating a girl with a wire hanger in Mommie Dearest--is back to her old tricks. In this UK interview, the luminous star of... More >>

• Katie Holmes To Be Protested on Opening Night

  published Oct 14, 2008

  When Katie Holmes goes onstage Thursday for the opening night performance of Broadway's revival of All My Sons, she should know that there'll be a passionate group of people waiting outside for her.... More >>

• Is Sarah Palin a Fashion Iconr

  published Oct 13, 2008

  Absolutely not! No more than I am the poster child for rampant heterosexuality! But Palin HAS inspired a top that I feel makes a valid sociopolitical point while blaring a lovely shade of red (as in... More >>

• In Praise of Fag Hags

  published Oct 13, 2008

  There seem to be more fag hags running around bars than ever, grasping for attention with loud voices and deafening outfits, and I'm always hiding in the corner trying to figure out why. Well, as on... More >>

• Richard Gere Finally Addresses Gerbil Rumor--And Changes It!

  published Oct 13, 2008

  Remember the old Mother Goose tale that Richard Gere got a sexual thrill out of sticking gerbils up his ass for nightly bouts of squirming captivityr Remember when every douche nozzle in town claime... More >>

• Me Alert! I'm Back On Theater Talk!

  published Oct 10, 2008

  The sight of my face popping up on the ultra serious Channel 13 is so potentially jarring that it absolutely commands you to watch it! And tonight at 1 A.M., you can see that very punim spewing all ... More >>

• John Travolta Stepped Here: Dance Floor On The Move!

  published Oct 10, 2008

  Is it possible to own a floorr I don't know, but producer Vito Bruno (above) has somehow gotten ahold of one, and it happens to be the original dance floor from Saturday Night Fever. And Bruno has b... More >>

• Orfeh With a Bullet!

  published Oct 10, 2008

  Orfeh, the majorly talented Paulette from Broadway's Legally Blonde (which is closing next week) and a Broadway staple, has a new CD out called What Do You Want From Me. What I wanted from her were th... More >>

• The Second Worst Kind of Friend

  published Oct 09, 2008

  You know the type. He meets you at the theater, but he's too busy gabbing away on his iPhone to give you more than a sideways kiss hello. He finally has to turn the phone off when the lights start dim... More >>

• The Worst Kind of Friend You Could Have!

  published Oct 09, 2008

  You know the type--the self-aggrandizing pal who only bothers to communicate when he/she wants something. As in, "My cousin's coming into town this weekend. Anything good going onr" Or: "Hi! Do you kn... More >>

• Eminem's Mother Reveals She's Not Kim Basinger!

  published Oct 09, 2008

  In her new book, My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem, Debbie Nelson says the portrayal of Em's mama in the movie 8 Mile was as fictional as Slim Shady. Writes Debs, "The Basinger character comes on to her... More >>

• Movie Star Extravaganza!

  published Oct 08, 2008

  This is your weekly reminder to click here and get your heaping plate of sick, twisted gossip and nervy opinions. I'm an ass half full kind of guy, so this week my thoughts are rather upbeat as I sh... More >>

• Who Will Be Oscar Nominated For Best Actressr

  published Oct 08, 2008

  It's only four months to the Oscar nominations (sorry, I'm a sick queen), so it's time to start separating the frontrunners from the back-of-the buses. Here come my never-too-early choices for the d... More >>

• Signs of the Great Depression

  published Oct 08, 2008

  Here are some tiny tell-tale signs that the economy is in the crapper: The oranges on display at B Bar are now wrapped up in netting so no one can take them. At the longtime gay bar Rawhide, custo... More >>

• Late Breaking Nightclub News

  published Oct 07, 2008

  Mr. Black, my favorite new club--which is actually the relocated version of the place that shut down last year after a drug raid crippled it--has just been seized by the tax man! There are signs on th... More >>

• Mommie Dearest's Vehicle Comes To TV

  published Oct 07, 2008

  Mildred Pierce was the 1945 movie that not only taught me the expression "dreadfully recherche, n'est-ce pasr"--and which prompted Carol Burnett's zingy parody, Mildred Fierce-- but which won Joan C... More >>

• Bill Maher Takes Us to Hell!

  published October 8, 2008

  Life imitates pop art all the time—I bet Robert Downey Jr.'s in blackface in a jungle somewhere as we speak—but in Sally Hawkins's... More >>

• HX Scandal Update!

  published Oct 07, 2008

  Remember last week's volatile post saying that I had been asked to judge HX magazine's Mr. HX contest at Splash, but then was told by the organizer that after a meeting with the gay mag's owner, they ... More >>