Email Author Michael Musto

Awards

• 2012 - AAN AltWeekly Awards

  "Why I Hate Being Gay! 62 Reasons!"

• 2012 - AAN AltWeekly Awards

  "Help! Blandness Has Taken Over Our Culture!"

• 2012 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published August 31, 2011

  "Fame Is Better Than Drugs And I Want To Mainline That Shit"

• 2011 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published June 22, 2010

  "Kicked in the Groin at Every Glittery Turn"

• 2011 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published August 18, 2010

  "Where's My Book?"

• 2011 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published December 29, 2010

  "Year in Review"

More

2009 Stories by Michael Musto

• A Wild and Woolly New Club Night!

  published Nov 11, 2009

  Those surreal space aliens Susanne Bartsch and Kenny Kenny--who already throw the zingy VanDam Sundays at Greenhouse--are teaming for one more crazy salad of weekly debauching, so our calendars will o... More >>

• Marc Christian Has Passedr

  published Nov 11, 2009

  An inside source claims that Marc Christian--the lover of Hollywood god Rock Hudson, who sued Rock's estate because he felt the star had unfairly made him potentially susceptible to AIDS--has died. T... More >>

• A Sale of Four Titties

  published Nov 11, 2009

  It was a big week for sex tapes, Carrie Prejean coming clean about her solo video done when she was a mere teen, for a boyfriend's delectation, and Jennifer Lopez managing to nab a temporary restraini... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Massage Demonstration Shut Down By Police

  published Nov 10, 2009

  Can't someone get a simple massage in a store window anymorer On Friday, a male erotic massage demonstration in the window of Blue store in Chelsea was shut down by the police 90 minutes into it, "an... More >>

• When Is It OK To Call Someone Your "Boyfriend"r

  published Nov 10, 2009

  Or "girlfriend"r Or "partner" or "human blow-up toy" or whatever freaking term you chooser Face it--it's a very delicate dance we play in relationships, both players terrified to introduce the other ... More >>

• Jude Law Busted By Sir Ian McKellen!

  published November 10, 2009

  There is nothing more boring, self-aggrandizing, and sad than when columnists take pains to remind you, "You read it here first" about some... More >>

• Steven Tyler Out of Aerosmithr

  published Nov 10, 2009

  Is wiry, big-lipped frontman Steven Tyler walking this way right out of Aerosmithr That seems to be the case according to some of the signs popping up in the media--like the fact that he quit. Appare... More >>

• Scores Responds To Tabloid Claim

  published Nov 10, 2009

  You know, the one about how hottie Josh Duhamel allegedly toyed with an exotic dancer even though he's supposed to be with wifey Fergie. I didn't give the headlines a whole lot of second thought--I ... More >>

• Which Shows Would You Like Revivedr

  published Nov 10, 2009

  This brain emission just came in from a reader, so I take it very seriously: "Bye Bye Birdie recently returned to Broadway in its first revival in 50 years and South Pacific took 60 years to return, ... More >>

• Lindsay Lohan Will Surely Die!

  published Nov 09, 2009

  Gosh, I hate to drum up a title as sensationally tacky as that one, but let's get serious: That's exactly what's going to happen unless Lindsay's warring parents take some extreme measures and try to ... More >>

• Tom Ford Trashes St. Laurent!

  published Nov 09, 2009

  Hairy chested fashion god Tom Ford has turned director, his debut A Single Man getting kudos at the Venice Film Festival en route to American hoopla and Oscar consideration. And now, Tom has turned b... More >>

• My Duane Reade Now Has a "Doctor on The Premises"!

  published Nov 09, 2009

  In this economic climate, establishments are doing everything but blow you to get your attention and more importantly your buck. But I was still a little bit shocked to see a sign in the window of my ... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Real-Life Couples Onscreen: Does The Chemistry Translater

  published Nov 09, 2009

  Paul Bettany and Jennnifer Connelly costar in an imminent movie called Creation about the history-making Charles Darwin and the wife, which gets me to wondering about a whole other theory of creation:... More >>

• Why Do We Shun Homeless Peopler

  published Nov 09, 2009

  The other day a raggedy looking man approached me on the street and asked "Can you spare a quarterr" I'm not proud to admit that my immediate response--even before he finished that sentence--was to sa... More >>

• Which Movies Make You Cryr

  published Nov 06, 2009

  One of the awful things about getting a teeny bit older is that you start becoming sentimental about everything to the point where movies and plays that used to have you rolling your eyes suddenly mak... More >>

• Will New York Get Gay Marriager

  published Nov 06, 2009

  In the wake of the Maine horror, there's been some way more appealing news. Governor David Paterson is including marriage equality in the sweeping November 10 session he is calling for, bringing gay m... More >>

• Gravel-Voiced Chick With Dick Sings "I Am What I Am"

  published Nov 06, 2009

  That's all you need to know about this amazing clip--except that the foxy lady also claims to be a nominee for the Nobel Prize in medicine. Check it out and see if you give Desire Dubounet the hook... More >>

• What's The Worst Kind of Bad Breathr

  published Nov 06, 2009

  It's a common fallacy to think that all bad breaths are equally hateful. In reality, there are different types of bad breath, and some are way more putrid than others. Jizz breath isn't all that bad,... More >>

• The Name of The Photographer Doing Levi Johnston's Shoot For Playgirl Is...

  published Nov 05, 2009

  Greg Weiner! You have to believe me on that, people! I just got a press release saying that's his name and it's for reals! I guess Andy Dick wasn't available.... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Why I'm Mad About The Carrie Prejean Sex Tape

  published Nov 05, 2009

  Yesterday, the bombshell dropped that dethroned Miss Calfornia Carrie Prejean has a sex tape floating around, one that the ever sensitive TMZ.com won't publish because it's just too tit-iliciously rac... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Whatever Happened to Common Courtesyr

  published Nov 05, 2009

  I firmly believe in backstabbing people as often as you can, but in being kind and polite during actual interactions. And yet I find that a lot of annoyingly insensitive types don't buy into that way ... More >>

• I Played Sarah Palin on Olbermann's Show!

  published Nov 05, 2009

  How far will I go to get attentionr Think of the farthest thing you can think of--say, Magic Johnson's penis--and quadruple it a few times. To wit: Last night, I went on Countdown With Keith Olberm... More >>

• Funny Lady Gaga Spoof

  published Nov 05, 2009

  It's her again. Yes, the brilliantly deranged Lady Gaga. And it's him again. Yep, that pesky pop satirist Greg Scarnici. Greg got to meet Gaga and instantly came up with "Stalkerazzi," a spoof of t... More >>

• Take My Column...Please!

  published Nov 04, 2009

  CLICK HERE for the new column, which spans a cavalcade of celebrities, all outdoing themselves to get my attention so they can get your attention. There's:Kerry Washington making her Broadway debut i... More >>

• Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin as Oscar Hosts!

  published Nov 04, 2009

  Remember the comedy team of Martin and Lewisr Hellor Well, brace yourselves for Martin and Baldwin! Yep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will cohost the Oscars next year, and they should do pretty well... More >>