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2010 Stories by Michael Musto

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  • Spider-Man Injury: Should They Turn ON The Dark?

    published Dec 21, 2010

    Broadway's currently previewing Spider-Man: Turn off The Dark has been plagued with so much bad press and rotten luck (and possibly hubris) that they should win international kudos if they manage to l... More >>

  • Paris Hilton In An Air Scare!

    published Dec 21, 2010

    ParisHilton We were about to take off then security made everyone deplane because they found a big knife on board the plane. Scary that it got on plane.6 minutes ago via ĆœberTwitter... More >>

  • Dirty and Offensive Christmas Songs!
    FEATURED STORY

    Dirty and Offensive Christmas Songs!

    published Dec 21, 2010

    The only way I can deal with the annual onslaught of cheery and/or solemn Christmas songs is to make up filthy, raucous versions of them and make those the official hymns of the season. It's painfull... More >>

  • Holiday Entertainment At Your Local Theater

    published Dec 21, 2010

    I've been rsvping up a storm so I can report to you on various theatrical stocking stuffers to fill your holiday minds with. Here's what I saw: *Three Pianos is a two-hour, intermissionless seriocom... More >>

  • Don't Ask, Don't Tell Is History!

    published Dec 20, 2010

    Yay! Woo-hoo! Gays now have the inalienable right to fight corrupt wars based on lies and propaganda and kill lots of innocent people!This is fantastic! (Kidding, I think.)... More >>

  • Faye Dunaway's Master Class Movie: What The Hell Happened?

    published Dec 20, 2010

    The screen version of Master Class--directed by Oscar winner Faye Dunaway, who stars as opera diva Maria Callas--was scheduled to come out in 2010. But it ain't ready, divas. A while ago, I had gott... More >>

  • Robert Durst's Niece: A Shocking Revelation

    published Dec 20, 2010

    Robert Durst is the guy who may have been responsible for three killings, but he only got penalized for disposing of a corpse (rather than for the really bad drag he was hiding out in at one point). ... More >>

  • Thora Birch's Last Interview Before Getting Fired

    published Dec 20, 2010

    As you may know, Thora Birch was all set to appear as Lucy in an off-Broadway production of Dracula until the producers showed their fangs and axed her last week. As The Times reported, supposedly t... More >>

  • Ugh. Here Comes The Christ Child Myth Again
    FEATURED STORY

    Ugh. Here Comes The Christ Child Myth Again

    published Dec 20, 2010

    It's time again for humankind's favorite fairy tale. You know, how Joseph and Mary gave birth to little Jesus in a barn because there was no room at the Holiday Inn. And how this all happened withou... More >>

  • Black Swan, Cyndi Lauper, South Beach, and Cockpit Jokes!

    published Dec 15, 2010

    CLICK HERE for my yuletide potpourri of a column which goes from movie premieres to Florida sun frolicking to free buffets to casino culture and back to the free buffets!I romp around the Black Swan p... More >>

  • Black Swan Is "a Lezzie Wet Dream"!

    published December 15, 2010

    The Friars Club roast of Quentin Tarantino at the Hilton started with some hilarious jokes, like a four-dollar coat-check fee and salad... More >>

  • It's Another Vacation Week!

    published Dec 13, 2010

    Well, they don't roll over, so I'm grabbing this one before it evaporates like my neck. Please entertain yourselves by rereading the old blogs and reposting your hateful and/or appreciative remarks.O... More >>

  • A New Erasure Video Featuring Moi
    FEATURED STORY

    A New Erasure Video Featuring Moi

    published Dec 10, 2010

    I'm in the new video for the classic Erasure song "A Little Respect," the one we've all been known to dance to in a drunken stupor while begging for our proppers.The remix, "A Little Respect - HMI R... More >>

  • Your Fave Dance Cuts From the '70s

    published Dec 10, 2010

    If you remember dancing through the '70s, then you were definitely there. And DJ/journalist Paisley Dalton -- who surely wasn't even alive then -- has just the new CD for you. It's My Chiffon Is Wet... More >>

  • The Best Pepperidge Farm Cookie of All

    published Dec 10, 2010

    Trust me, it's Pirouette, that classically creme-filled rolled wafer, in a delectable chocolate hazelnut flavor that's out of this galaxy. Pirouettes are sort of like edible cigarettes crossed with m... More >>

  • When Your Gift Choices Totally Bomb
    FEATURED STORY

    When Your Gift Choices Totally Bomb

    published Dec 10, 2010

    One Christmas, a discount store was selling large bottles of Vagisil for two bucks apiece. Scampishly, I thought, "Those will be amazing gifts for all my friends! It'll be absolutely hilarious!" So ... More >>

  • A Comeback for Nicole Kidman?
    FEATURED STORY

    A Comeback for Nicole Kidman?

    published Dec 09, 2010

    Since winning the Oscar for 2002's The Hours, Nicole Kidman has made some bold and varied choices. The problem is, the vast majority of them turned out to be giant bombs. In chronological order, Nic... More >>

  • So Ronni Chasen's Murder Was Purely Random?

    published Dec 09, 2010

    So it turns out that Harold Martin Smith, the guy who supposedly killed well-liked L.A. publicist Ronnie Chasen (then later shot himself to death), wasn't a hired hit man after all, cops are now sayin... More >>

  • Has-Beens Lip-synching to "Let It Be" (Video Below)

    published Dec 09, 2010

    Leave it to Norway. They have united every single fame-challenged celebrity whoever lived, and who wasn't busy at the autograph convention I recently went to in Parsippany, and shot them synching to ... More >>

  • "Great Body, No Crotch"

    published Dec 09, 2010

    We've seen it time and time again. A guy walks by on the street with the body of doom and your eyes pop out, gleefully entertained. Naturally, your line of vision quickly drops down to the crotch le... More >>

  • "Someone to Blow Mel Gibson...Away"

    published Dec 09, 2010

    That's one of the sincere holiday wishes expressed in the tres amusant Christmas card I just got from Caroline's Comedy Club. Here are some of the other lovely yuletide hopes that are on the wryly ... More >>

  • Don't Make Your Own Angel Dust, People

    published Dec 08, 2010

    Don't treat it like just another recipe off the Food Channel. Jerry Castaldo learned this the hard way, as he describes in his memoir, Brooklyn NY: A Grim Retrospective -- a gritty tale of dark strug... More >>

  • Oprah Breaks Down Crying When Talking About Her Beloved Gayle (Video Below)
    FEATURED STORY

    Oprah Breaks Down Crying When Talking About Her Beloved Gayle (Video Below)

    published Dec 08, 2010

    Barbara Walters has an uncanny ability to make people sob, even when simply asking them what kind of tree they'd be. In fact, it must be in Barbara's contract that her interview subjects don't leave ... More >>

  • Carol Channing Wows 'Em at Gypsy of the Year

    published Dec 08, 2010

    She's still got it. Ninety-year-old Carol Channing was a wow at yesterday's Gypsy of the Year benefit, an all-star, multi-show revue which raises massive funds for Broadway Cares/Equity Fight AIDS. ... More >>

  • I Know Someone Who's So Dumb...

    published Dec 08, 2010

    That when he says, "I went to a museum," he means Planet Hollywood. Give me more of these! Make them smart!... More >>

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