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2010 Stories by Michael Musto

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  • Happy Birthday, Psycho

    published Jan 27, 2010

    That's exactly what people sang to me on my last birthday! But this time, I'm referring to the classic Hitchcock movie, which is 50 years old and as spine-tinglingly creepy as ever. CLICK HERE for m... More >>

  • Kathy Griffin Addresses Anderson Cooper's Sexuality

    published Jan 27, 2010

    CLICK HERE to devour the new column, which reports that Kathy Griffin was asked by a journalist about Anderson Cooper's love life, and my name came up in the question! In the same column, I broke my ... More >>

  • My Oscar Nominations Predictions!

    published Jan 27, 2010

    The nominations come out the morning of February 2nd, but I've had my predix ready since last July. They are: For BEST PICTURE Up in the Air Avatar Precious The Hurt Locker Inglouri... More >>

  • Take The Rectal Leakage Challenge

    published Jan 27, 2010

    Here's a scenario for you kids, courtesy of Satan: Let's say you're offered some diabolical contract asserting that your butt will leak continually until the day you die, and there's nothing you can ... More >>

  • Impressionistic Photos From The Pill Awards!

    published Jan 27, 2010

    The Pill Awards aren't honors for Zoloft, Prozac, and Wellbutrin. They're awards given to LGBT music artists, presented by the cable show ADD-TV. No, I still don't understand, but there I was at Are... More >>

  • Does Howard Stern Wear a Wig?
    FEATURED STORY

    Does Howard Stern Wear a Wig?

    published Jan 26, 2010

    If he does, that's fine with me. But magazine editor Chaunce Hayden seems to think it's a big deal. Bear in mind that Hayden used to be on the show, apparently got shit-canned, and has since tried to... More >>

  • Kathy Griffin Addresses Anderson Cooper's Sexuality!

    published January 26, 2010

    Movieland's favorite pulsing-eyed Everyman with an edge, Steve Buscemi is headed to two risky resorts. The wildly familiar actor stars in Saint... More >>

  • Don't Break Up, Brangelina! We Need You!

    published Jan 26, 2010

    When Brangelina became an item way back in '04, we resented them for hurting poor, beloved Jennifer Aniston's feelings, and also for taming wild child Angelina into a preachy mother of 9,000 kids and ... More >>

  • Can Scarlett Johansson Act?

    published Jan 26, 2010

    I was the only one who gave Scarlett Johansson entrance applause for her turn in the Broadway revival of Arthur Miller's 1950s tragedy A View From The Bridge the other day. But let me explain: She wa... More >>

  • Were Lucy and Ethel Lesbian Lovers?

    published Jan 26, 2010

    I love Lucy, but I also love her sidekick, Vivian Vance for her wonderful way with a deadpan delivery and a slow burn. But it turns out her humor, as in so many cases, came from awful wells of hideou... More >>

  • Actor Ben Whishaw is Straight in One Magazine, Gay in Another

    Actor Ben Whishaw is Straight in One Magazine, Gay in Another

    published Jan 26, 2010

    Don't you hate when a magazine's angle is that a hetero actor is playing gay, and how very wild that is? Don't you also find it distasteful when the magazine assumes the actor playing gay IS hetero? ... More >>

  • Picture This Most Hideous Scenario

    published Jan 26, 2010

    Imagine if the second you were born, a timer started going off to clock your lifelong march toward obsolescence. Imagine if every second you lived, your skin got looser, your teeth got wobblier, your... More >>

  • Who Fared Best on the Hope For Haiti Telethon?
    FEATURED STORY

    Who Fared Best on the "Hope For Haiti" Telethon?

    published Jan 25, 2010

    The stars wore dark, solid colors and radiated tasteful concern on the telethon Friday night, most of them digging up standard tunes of hope-through-the-wreckage. I think the most powerful performers... More >>

  • Jack E. Jett Axed For "Jacking His Cock"

    published Jan 25, 2010

    Radio host Jack E. Jett--a friend of this blog--was axed after he made a remark that included the phrase "jacking my cock" in an interview with a blogger. Ironically, the remark was designed to tell p... More >>

  • Andy Dick Charged with Gay Sexual Abuse
    FEATURED STORY

    Andy Dick Charged with Gay Sexual Abuse

    published Jan 25, 2010

    Amusing lit keg Andy Dick was slapped with two felony counts of sexual abuse in West Virginia. He's charged with grabbing a bar bouncer's crotch and kissing and groping a male customer. Dick is stunn... More >>

  • I Regifted To The Person Who Originally Gave Me The Gift!

    published Jan 25, 2010

    My worst fear came true the other day when I took a friend out for lunch on her birthday. After we ordered, I handed her several gifts, including a sleeping mask that said "Fuck" on it. I thought she... More >>

  • Is Scott Brown Just Sarah Palin With More Balls?

    published Jan 25, 2010

    Or, more accurately, with real balls? Now that a few days have passed since the stud shockingly nabbed the senatorial spot in Massachusetts and we've braced ourselves for him to trounce on Teddy Kenn... More >>

  • Who Should Star in the Spice Girls Musical?
    FEATURED STORY

    Who Should Star in the Spice Girls Musical?

    published Jan 22, 2010

    It was announced yesterday that Mamma Mia! producer Judy Craymer will create and produce a new musical called Viva Forever, based on the songs of the giddiest girl group of all time, The Spice Girls. ... More >>

  • I Finally Had a Colonoscopy!

    published Jan 22, 2010

    And it wasn't that bad, kids. Everything people say about the procedure is totally true: You're put out right before they invade your innards and unlike with certain sexual encounters, you feel absol... More >>

  • Good News! It's Not Illegal To Call Someone a 'Cunt'!

    published Jan 22, 2010

    Drag performer Vodka Stinger found that out at Pieces bar on Christopher Street the other night. It was bingo night, and a cantankerous young lady was refusing to get on line to buy a bingo card like... More >>

  • "Wrapped Up Like a Douche" And Other Wrong Lyrics

    published Jan 22, 2010

    Way back in the '70s, there was a rock hit by Manfred Mann's Earth Band, whatever that was, and every time I heard it, I was convinced the lead vocalist was singing, "Blinded by the light, wrapped up ... More >>

  • Gay Gladiators Attack New York!
    FEATURED STORY

    Gay Gladiators Attack New York!

    published Jan 21, 2010

    Starz channel obviously knows the target audience for its Spartacus: Blood and Sand series, premiering this week.They had an Out magazine-hosted party at Avenue last night, where twinks clinked fruit... More >>

  • Will You Watch "Hope for Haiti" Tomorrow Night?

    published Jan 21, 2010

    Just try and avoid it! It'll be on every channel except Boomerang, filling your brain with the sight of caring celebrities reaching out to get exposure for their new CDs--I mean for Haitian relief, w... More >>

  • The Hottest Blind Item of Them All
    FEATURED STORY

    The Hottest Blind Item of Them All

    published Jan 21, 2010

    As you know, this week's column features a truckload of saucy, bossy blind items, but I saved a special one just for your LDM readers as a gift. Consider it your bonus for having used your LDM club c... More >>

  • Has The Bible Done More Bad Than Good?

    published Jan 21, 2010

    For something so nobly dubbed "the good book"--and which Denzel Washington carts around so lovingly in The Book of Eli--the Bible has certainly been the source of a lot of bad feelings. For centuries... More >>

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