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2012 Stories by Michael Musto

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  • Seasons Greetings From John Waters

    published Dec 05, 2012

    A few years ago, the "sultan of bad taste" John Waters sent out this touching holiday ornament showcasing a lovely dead roach. It was a rubber roach, but it still made the point. And the point was a... More >>

  • Free Booze at New Nightclub!

    published Dec 05, 2012

    Hold on, alkies, let me explain. The live-music-based club the Cutting Room has a fabulous new location (44 E. 32 Street), but the manager, Susan Hathaway, told me there's no liquor license yet becau... More >>

  • Buzz Off, Rihanna, Flo Rida, and Kesha! Here's Why I Hate Music!

    published Dec 05, 2012

    This week's column is a blistering attack on all the things I can't stand about music! I name all the major names as I go through the current preponderance of illiterate lyrics, inane meldodies, anno... More >>

  • Lesbians Are Taking Over Soho!

    published Dec 05, 2012

    And they're using names from Virginia Woolf characters! Let me explain: The Dalloway (525 Broome Street) is a new hotspot co-owned by Kim Stolz, remembered as a lesbian contestant on America's Next ... More >>

  • When You Have A Mad Crush On Someone...

    published Dec 05, 2012

    How do you keep from making an utter fool of yourself? I'm talking about the kind of crush that's zany and unrealistic and you don't think will ever amount to anything real--and you might not even wa... More >>

  • Hollywood Hoarder: Judy And Liza Help Rescue Ann Miller

    published Dec 05, 2012

    In this satirical take on late Hollywood legend Ann Miller by the Punchy Players, Ann's house looks like Louis G. Mayer exploded all over it. Enter Judy and Liza, who plow through the mounds of corn ... More >>

  • Buzz Off, Rihanna, Flo Rida, and Ke$ha! Here's Why I Hate Music!

    published December 5, 2012

    Because the winners of TV talent shows seem to spend their entire careers in the competitive mode. Every note is designed to win something. ...... More >>

  • Me And My Photo, My Photo And Me

    published Dec 04, 2012

    A dinner at Co-op restaurant (at Hotel on Rivington) to introduce Chef James London, was a perfect chance for me to reconnect with my image on the wall--an EJ Camp-photographed portrait placed up on t... More >>

  • Which NYC Nabe Has The Most Gay Bars?

    published Dec 04, 2012

    That's easy! Hell's Kitchen! According to the invaluable map in Next magazine, HK and environs has no fewer than 13 LGBT bars! (There's Vlada, Posh, Barrage, Therapy, Industry, Hardware, Escuelita,... More >>

  • Kathryn Bigelow's Winning More Awards! Only Because She's A Woman?

    published Dec 04, 2012

    When Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker won the Best Picture and Best Director awards three Oscars ago, a few icky people started bitching that it was only because she's a woman. (I found that pretty... More >>

  • The Horror of Standing Ovations on Broadway

    published Dec 04, 2012

    Yes, the situation has become a horror, mainly because it's so boringly expected now. If someone shows up, you stand. If they get through the show without dropping dead, you stand and cheer! You si... More >>

  • "Hot and Busted": Attractive People Doing Bad Things

    published Dec 04, 2012

    Let me remind you of the Hot and Busted site filled with mug shots of supermodel types who messed up. Shouldn't these guys be let off the hook because they're good looking?? Shouldn't their crimes b... More >>

  • Paul Williams Helped Rat Packer Get Coke

    published Dec 04, 2012

    Paul Williams is the elfin guy with the shag who cowrote "Evergreen," starred in Phantom of the Paradise, won Grammys and an Oscar, and guested on The Tonight Show 50 times. And he's still alive. St... More >>

  • Ashton Kutcher As Steve Jobs: You Like?

    published Dec 04, 2012

    The star of Two and a Half Men can add another man to his resume. Cougar bait Ashton Kutcher is playing entrepreneurial genius Steve Jobs in jOBS, which is closing the next Sundance Film Festival.Doe... More >>

  • Hey, Con Ed, You Trying To Rip Me Off?
    FEATURED STORY

    Hey, Con Ed, You Trying To Rip Me Off?

    published Dec 03, 2012

    I just got my Con Ed bill and for some reason it was 50 percent more than usual!!! It was more than any Con Ed bill I remember getting in a long time, actually! And it covered the period when there ... More >>

  • Robin Byrd's New Show Was a Pisser!
    FEATURED STORY

    Robin Byrd's New Show Was a Pisser!

    published Dec 03, 2012

    "Get out your boxes because she's ready to bang them! "Let's hear it for the queen of pubic televison, the adult answer to Mr. Rogers, and a woman who gets higher ratings than Honey Bo Boo--Robin Byr... More >>

  • Rubber, Latex, And Metal Fabulosity At Kayvon Zand Shoot! Photos By Gazelle

    published Dec 03, 2012

    There are no more interesting club creatures. People don't dress up anymore. No one makes the effort or has any aesthetic vision to begin with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blow all of the above into metaph... More >>

  • Barbra Streisand Says Marlon Brando Wanted Her!

    published Dec 03, 2012

    Last night I attended a special screening of The Guilt Trip with Seth Rogen fighting and bonding with mama Barbra Streisand on a car trip to settle some scores. And there was a live simulcast afterwa... More >>

  • Brad Pitt's Movie Killing Them... Is Not Slaying Them

    published Dec 03, 2012

    Says this link: "There were low expectations for producer Brad Pitt's R-rated ruthless star turn in Killing Them Softly" because it was released on the weekend after the Thanksgiving one, generally n... More >>

  • Patti LuPone and Debra Winger In The Anarchist: My Review

    published Dec 02, 2012

    "Bring on some original dramas already!" we pundits always cry, desperate for new blood in the midst of the endless barrage of revivals and tourist shows. But this season, that's led to some insubst... More >>

  • Country Star Will Be Maria Von Trapp In TV's <em>The Sound of Music</em>
    FEATURED STORY

    Country Star Will Be Maria Von Trapp In TV's The Sound of Music

    published Nov 30, 2012

    It's Carrie Underwood who's officially going to be filling the wimple once worn by Mary Martin and Julie Andrews.And suddenly the hills are alive with the sound of country and western! I guess Jesus ... More >>

  • The Best Blurbed Quote In History!
    FEATURED STORY

    The Best Blurbed Quote In History!

    published Nov 30, 2012

    Writing a good blurb is an art form unto itself, one I've been working at for years as I crank out quote lines for plays, movies, and books, always aiming to be zingy yet entirely accurate. But one y... More >>

  • Was Robin Byrd's Show An Adult Entertainment Version Of Mr. Rogers?

    published Nov 30, 2012

    I argue the point in today's New York Times. (Yes, I've been quoted in the Times two days in a row now! Could anyone be more relevant?) Anyway, the long running cable star Robin Byrd is doing a wee... More >>

  • My Oscar Predictions As Of This Moment!

    published Nov 30, 2012

    Naturally, they might change--especially when I see every last film--but right now, this is what I'm predicting on goldderby.com (where they ask various commentators for their incredibly prescient for... More >>

  • Married Man Says Parkinson's Drug Turned Him Into A Gay Sex Addict!

    published Nov 30, 2012

    And he just won a lawsuit against the pharmaceutical company for that very reason! This is major, folks. The drug, Requip, has just been catapulted to the forefront of social inhibitors. And one ca... More >>

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