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2013 Stories by Michael Musto

Archives: 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000 | 1999 | 1998 | 1997
  • My Disco Gig Is In Today's Daily News!

    published Jan 25, 2013

    On Sunday February 17, I'll be singing disco hits at 54 Below--the jazzily renovated lower level of the old Studio 54--and it makes perfect sense. I used to go to the actual club in the 1970s. And in... More >>

  • Inside Robert Blake's Dark Mind
    FEATURED STORY

    Inside Robert Blake's Dark Mind

    published Jan 25, 2013

    I'm reading a book about director Hal Ashby (Harold and Maude, Coming Home), who in 1979 did a movie called The Hamster of Happiness, which came out two years later as Second-Hand Hearts. By any name... More >>

  • Pia Zadora Is Coming To Our City!

    published Jan 25, 2013

    She was the child star of Midgie Purvis, a 1961 Broadway comedy starring Tallulah Bankhead, and also appeared in 1964's immortal work of cinema Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. Later, she became the... More >>

  • Mixed Restaurant At Gay Hotel

    published Jan 24, 2013

    KTCHN, the restaurant at the OutNYC hotel on West 42nd Street, is a sleek place that's drawing a mixed crowd--which is perfectly legal, I guess. I ate in the back room, which feels airy, mirrors addi... More >>

  • Broadway Hits Have Become Critic-Proof Like Movies!
    FEATURED STORY

    Broadway Hits Have Become Critic-Proof Like Movies!

    published Jan 24, 2013

    It used to be that a Broadway show that got raves would have a pretty good chance of being a hit and one that got trashed by critics would most likely fold. This was the complete opposite of movies, ... More >>

  • The Real Shock About Beyonce's "Star Spangled Banner"!

    published Jan 24, 2013

    No, it's not that she was lipsynching, singing along, or whatever she was doing. Way back in 1991, when Whitney Houston did a tremendous job with the tune and it was later revealed to be a lipsynch, ... More >>

  • Seven More Famous Songs About Pleasuring Oneself
    FEATURED STORY

    Seven More Famous Songs About Pleasuring Oneself

    published Jan 24, 2013

    I can't get enough of these, for some reason. The following are from The Official Book of Sex, Drugs, & Rock 'N' Roll Lists: 1. "Homemade," Sebadoh No, it's not about jam. Or is it? 2. "All By Mys... More >>

  • I'm Singing Disco Tunes At 54 Below!

    published Jan 24, 2013

    It all makes perfect sense. After all, I was at the original Studio 54--a LOT. And I always defended the joys of disco music as others argued that it signaled the destruction of civilization. And we... More >>

  • How To Look Way Younger Without Surgery! My Secrets

    published Jan 24, 2013

    I look really old, but not as old as I really am, so I'm often asked "How do you do it?" by people anxious to shed years from their own visages. Once again, let me relay the process: (1) Don't drin... More >>

  • Ten Famous Songs About Masturbation

    published Jan 24, 2013

    Some of them are blatantly about pleasuring oneself, others simply hint at it or use code words. But however they attack the subject, they're all odes to onanism, and by time you get to the end of thi... More >>

  • Tan Mom's Coming Back To NYC Gay Club! Lock Up Your Microwaves!

    published Jan 23, 2013

    Oh, dear lord. Last year, Tan Mom--a/k/a Patricia Krentcil, the Jersey lady who denied bringing her kid into a tanning booth, even though they both looked like Ted Danson at a Friars Roast--was the g... More >>

  • Which Animals Are The Sexiest?
    FEATURED STORY

    Which Animals Are The Sexiest?

    published Jan 23, 2013

    For years, we've had to listen to that lame argument, "If we have gay marriage, what next...marrying your pet?" No, haters. Same-sex marriage keeps things within the same species--unlike a lot of you... More >>

  • The Funniest Celebrity Tweets Are Written By...

    published Jan 23, 2013

    Ruth Buzzi, the hilarious, rubber-faced comic best known for Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In, the swinging comedy revue that dominated TV from 1968 to '73. Ruthie is retired from show biz and living in T... More >>

  • Who's The Queen Of All Lady Comics? One Funny Lady Declares A Winner

    published Jan 23, 2013

    This week's column is a rollicking romp of an interview with the queen of mean, Lisa Lampanelli, who's now the queen of lean, having shed over 100 pounds, but not her piercing comic edge. I addition ... More >>

  • Lisa Lampanelli: "I'm a Recovering Dinge Queen!"

    published Jan 23, 2013

    Hilarious insult lady Lisa Lampanelli is playing the Apollo next Wednesday, which would seem like a sexual lollapalooza for the lady, considering her reputation, except for one thing: She's married. ... More >>

  • Ranking All The <em>American Idol</em> Winners In Terms Of Quality
    FEATURED STORY

    Ranking All The American Idol Winners In Terms Of Quality

    published Jan 23, 2013

    A regular on the gay gossip board datalounge.com took a stab at ranking the show's bevy of belting prize winners, from 11 to 1. If you don't see some of the best talents on the list, it's because they... More >>

  • The Five Biggest Male Crotches In Music

    published Jan 23, 2013

    A lot of music acts sell millions of units, but if they don't have one very special one betwen their legs, they're socially worthless. According to the book The Official Book of Sex, Drugs, & Rock 'N... More >>

  • Lisa Lampanelli's Heading to Harlem for You Know What!

    published January 23, 2013

    Comedy's queen of mean, Lisa Lampanelli, is now the queen of lean—she has lost 102 pounds, which means she basically shed a Sarah... More >>

  • Eva Longoria, Hispanic Warrior
    FEATURED STORY

    Eva Longoria, Hispanic Warrior

    published Jan 22, 2013

    Who knew that the Desperate Housewife would turn out to be such an articulate advocate for human rights? Last week, she was on the front page of the Wall Street Journal with the headline "Eva Longori... More >>

  • Carson Kressley Joins NEWSical! He'll Pay Homage To Rachel Maddow!

    published Jan 22, 2013

    Emmy-winning Carson Kressley joins the cast of off Broadway's topical revue NEWSical The Musical for four weeks only, from February 6th - March 3rd. The popular (and highly fashionable) TV personality... More >>

  • Three Explicitly Sexy Films Coming Your Way With Major Stars
    FEATURED STORY

    Three Explicitly Sexy Films Coming Your Way With Major Stars

    published Jan 22, 2013

    It's definitely a trend, and they've all been showing at Sundance. In Don Jon's Addiction, writer/director Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a guy who's so addicted to online porn he can't have real relatio... More >>

  • The Slam Awards Were Drag Heaven!

    published Jan 22, 2013

    The annual Glam awards for the best in gay nightlife have gotten so big that they've spawned an offshoot/homage/satire/counter-argument. The second Slam awards for the worst in nightlife took place a... More >>

  • Everything You Need To Know About Anal Bleaching! NSFW

    published Jan 22, 2013

    A few years ago, I escorted my then-boyfriend to a hair salon for a dye job and considered that anal bleaching.After all, I was bleaching my asshole! But it turns out the practice actually refers to ... More >>

  • The Nastiest Review Of Les Miserables Yet!

    published Jan 22, 2013

    I really admired Les Miserables. No, it's not perfect--there are too many crying, singing closeups--but I still found it astonishingly done, the first great movie musical since Chicago. But as you kn... More >>

  • My New T-Shirt Is Available!

    published Jan 22, 2013

    It's fun for all your Pierrot-maniacs.Thanks to Pieter Henket for the photo and Christopher Lee Sauve for the design. And you can also get the same image in a print. And even in a framed print. ... More >>

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