Email Author Michael Musto

Awards

• 2011 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published June 22, 2010

  "Kicked in the Groin at Every Glittery Turn"

• 2011 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published August 18, 2010

  "Where's My Book?"

• 2011 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published December 29, 2010

  "Year in Review"

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2013 Stories by Michael Musto

• "It's Miss Stritch! Could You Get The Name Right, Pleaser"

  published Feb 25, 2013

  That's Broadway legend Elaine Stritch's first line in the teaser for her documentary So Shoot Me, and it's just what we want from her: Colorful, cantankerous correctitude.Her other Stritch-isms emitt... More >>

• I Was Nominated For Best Screenplay!

  published Feb 25, 2013

  I mean, come on, they even showed a closeup of me as cowriter of Moonrise Kingdom. People were congratulating me off the hook! No, wait, that was Roman Coppola. Never mind.... More >>

• Ever Make An Inappropriate Joker I Did!

  published Feb 25, 2013

  Years ago, I'd arrived at the office and was racing to my desk when I passed by the conference room, where an editorial meeting was taking place. This was at the height of the political correctness m... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Best Speech of The Night

  published Feb 25, 2013

  I'll give that honor to Best Actress Jennifer Lawrence. She was succinct, sweet, and sincere--everything a speech should be, including acknowledging the four losers, but not in a patronizing, humilia... More >>

• Triumphant Oscar Night For Two Mature Divas

  published Feb 24, 2013

  Shirley Bassey was masterful singing "Goldfinger" as part of the James Bond tribute on tonight's Academy Awards. She did the song with measured tones, taking her time, and going for the gold (finger)... More >>

• Seth As Oscar Host: My Thoughts So Far

  published Feb 24, 2013

  He's good. Funny and relaxed. Smiles at his own jokes, which deflates them of any real harm. Loved the Ron Jeremy reference, laughed at the Rihanna/Chris Brown joke, like the crack about Meryl not b... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Working With Children Isn't Everything It's Cracked Up To Be

  published Feb 22, 2013

  Six years ago, I wanted to go outside my own ego and improve the lives of children (as well as myself), so I volunteered to help kids with their homework at a multiracial East Village public school as... More >>

• Welcome To L.A.: A Real Cinema Curio

  published Feb 22, 2013

  I live for good/bad movies of the golden age, and 1977's Welcome To L.A. fits the bill, smog and all. It's an arid story of interlocking romances, all set amidst a bleak, impersonal, unhappy, yearnin... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Let's Turn Some Recent Films Into Porn Titles

  published Feb 22, 2013

  It's a tasteless game, but one that might provide a few dark laffs. I'll start: Zero Dark Dirty 21 Hump Street The Porn Legacy This is 40 InchesBitch Perfect Underwear Awakening This Means Whor... More >>

• Liza Minnelli As Evitar

  published Feb 22, 2013

  It almost happened. I just caught up with Altered States, the autobiography of the late visionary director Ken Russell, and he talks about being assigned to do a movie of Evita in the early 1980s, po... More >>

• Things I Actually Like About The Church

  published Feb 22, 2013

  I'm not just saying this so I won't go to hell--I'll be heading there anyway, on a Carnival Triumph cruise--but the Catholic Church doesn't only represent abject horror to me. Here are some positive ... More >>

• The Most Popular Song At Marie's Crisis Piano Bar

  published Feb 21, 2013

  Marie's Crisis is the long-running piano bar at 59-Grove Street, where the most popular tunes usually include numbers from Gypsy and A Chorus Line. But the other night, I dropped by and the song that... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Hey, Oscar Winners! Here Are Some Speeches You Should Avoid

  published Feb 21, 2013

  The Oscars are this Sunday and I'm trembling with anticipation but a little queasy, knowing that certain acceptance speech patterns will surely crop up on the telecast along with bad surgery and uneve... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Strange New Twist In Oscar Pistorius Case

  published Feb 21, 2013

  The dark tale of legless athlete Oscar Pistorius, who's been charged with the premeditated murder of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, has gotten even darker. There have been some flagrant foulups in ... More >>

• Shia LaBeouf Tweets About His Exit From Broadway Play

  published Feb 21, 2013

  Yesterday, it was announced that Shia LeBeouf was leaving the production of Orphans because of the fabled "creative differences" reason. In other words, "Please leave. It ain't working. You got creat... More >>

• Never Nominated For An Oscar...

  published Feb 21, 2013

  There are actors (like Peter O'Toole and Glenn Close) who've gotten nominated a whole lot of times and never won. Yet. But how about the ones who've never even been nominatedr In the case of the dead... More >>

• The Best Non-Nominated Performances This Year

  published Feb 21, 2013

  Not to take anything away from the fine nominees for this year's Oscar's acting categories, but there were five people--all men, it seems--who I feel were robbed of a nod, and I'm here to graciously p... More >>

• Porn Stars, Models, Dancers, And Bodybuilders Get Their Own NYC Club

  published Feb 20, 2013

  Finally, a press release to get excited by: "ADONIS LOUNGE, which has in four short years become the go-to nightspot for beautiful men and their admirers in NYC, will now open its own venue, at 22 We... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Parks And Recreation's Nick Offerman Is Coming To Town: Here's My Interview

  published Feb 20, 2013

  Nick Offerman, best known for portraying Ron Swanson on NBC's Parks and Recreation, will be making a stop at Town Hall on March 2 as part of his American Ham comedy tour. And Nick has produced a fil... More >>

• Great New York Observer Piece About My Disco Extravaganza

  published Feb 20, 2013

  Thank you to Drew Grant for soaking in the retro ambience and distilling it into this super fun article that puts you smack dab in the basement of the old Studio 54 a thousand years later, when they f... More >>

• Why I Hate Social Networking

  published Feb 20, 2013

  This week's column is one of my "Why I Hate..." series, this time about the irritating qualities of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and so on. They're so annoying! My column includes bristling items l... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  If You Thought Ted Was Creepy, Here's A Christian Teddy Bear That Brainwashes Your Child

  published Feb 20, 2013

  John Hagee's ministries came up with this: A Promises To Grow On audio player, which is basically a cute little bedside teddy bear that "gives you the opportunity to saturate your child in an environ... More >>

• Fran Lebowitz Doesn't Love Hugh Jackman

  published Feb 20, 2013

  Last night, eternal wit Fran Lebowitz was quizzed by Wickham Boyle (and audience members asking their own questions) in the Surrey Hotel's Presidential suite as the centerpiece of a salon hosted by Wa... More >>

• Why I Hate Social Media! Don't 'Like' This Column!

  published February 20, 2013

  I hate social networking media even more than yucca fries! Here are 25 tweetable, postable reasons why. (Add your own smiley face.) I... More >>

• Lorna Luft Was Amazing At Birdland Last Night

  published Feb 19, 2013

  Nobody can sell a song like Lorna Luft, and last night--in her Lorna's Living Room show at Birdland--she really delivered. In the Jim Caruso-produced night, Lorna paid tribute to three women who chan... More >>