Email Author Nick Schager

2011 Stories by Nick Schager

• Footprints: Hollywood Fantasy Gone Wrong on the Steps of the Chinese Theatre

  published April 13, 2011

  Grauman’s Chinese Theatre is the epicenter of Old Hollywood glamour as well as an irresistible magnet for those who desperately dream in... More >>

• Emasculated Bird Can't Get It Up in Animated Yawner Rio

  published April 13, 2011

  Parrot sex is the narrative impetus of Rio, and yet there’s still little spark to this animated tale of a domesticated Minnesota... More >>

• The Warring States: A Morass of Melodramatic Romance, Torture, and Suicide

  published April 13, 2011

  Opening so bombastically that it practically wears itself out, The Warring States commences by zooming across mountain ranges,... More >>

• A Handsome but Cursory Portrait of Animal Rescue in Born to Be Wild 3D

  published April 6, 2011

  Gigantic form, diminutive content: Born to Be Wild 3D, presented in expansive IMAX, offers a visually arresting, kid-friendly, but... More >>

• They're Out of the Business: Taking Self-Indulgence to a New Level

  published April 6, 2011

  Resuscitating the semi-autobiographical navel-gazing of their 1993 breakthrough indie My Life’s in Turnaround, Eric Schaeffer and... More >>

• Didactic Narration Undermines Spiritual Awe in Mysteries of the Jesus Prayer

  published April 6, 2011

  Striving for a Werner Herzog–ian aura of spiritual and historical awe, Mysteries of the Jesus Prayer journeys to the far reaches of... More >>

• Hop Delivers a Fleeting Sugar Rush

  published March 30, 2011

  The Easter Bunny gets an Alvin and the Chipmunks makeover in Hop, director Tim Hill’s second consecutive tale of a furry... More >>

• Mia and the Migoo: Miyazaki-Lite

  published March 23, 2011

  A plucky young heroine, a mystical quest to save the environment (and a missing father) from callous corporate-military development, and a band... More >>

• Korkoro: Tony Gatlif's Latest Drama About the Roma

  published March 23, 2011

  Robust emotion and cultural detail offset slight plotting and characterizations in the based-on-actual-events Korkoro (translation:... More >>

• Limitless: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

  published March 16, 2011

  A gleeful celebration of nonstop doping, Limitless offers up a dim Better Living Through Chemistry fantasy that refuses to rain on its... More >>

• Foreign Parts Expertly Captures Willets Point on the Brink of Foreclosure

  published March 9, 2011

  No more than a stone’s throw away from the New York Mets’ new, heavily commercialized Citi Field stands Willets Point, a muddy strip... More >>

• 

  Curse of the Mummy in Mars Needs Moms

  published March 9, 2011

  Who said animation should look real? Robert Zemeckis, for one, though as evidenced by Disney's recent closing of his ImageMovers Digital... More >>

• Attack of the Shaky-Cams in Battle: Los Angeles

  published March 9, 2011

  The shaky-cam is coming, the shaky-cam is coming! Jonathan Liebesman directs his alien-invasion saga Battle: Los Angeles as if he were... More >>

• Rango: Too Much Hunter S. Thompson, Not Enough Laughs

  published March 2, 2011

  A rollicking, surreal, and existential kids' Western that worships at the altars of Sergio Leone, Hunter S. Thompson, and Chinatown,... More >>

• Beastly: A Tin-Eared Fairy-Tale Interpretation

  published March 2, 2011

  A modernized riff on Beauty and the Beast that's as subtle as its protagonist's freaky facial blemishes, Beastly offers up an... More >>

• Liam Neeson, Aging Brutishly, Can't Save Tepid Thriller Unknown

  published February 16, 2011

  To age brutishly is Liam Neeson’s apparent career goal—with Taken, Clash of the Titans, The A-Team, and now... More >>

• Blatantly Wooing a Million Little Demographics in I Am Number Four

  published February 16, 2011

  Conceived by Oprah-vilified author James Frey as the beginning of a potential blockbuster franchise, I Am Number Four is nothing but a... More >>

• Big Mommas: Martin Lawrence’s Sky-High BMI Equals More Malnourished Jokes

  published February 16, 2011

  Irony supplies the sole spark of humor in Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, as this moribund second sequel has the audacity to feature... More >>

• Argentina's Corrupt Health and Insurance Industries Exposed in Carancho

  published February 9, 2011

  In Argentina, the only thing more dangerous than the rampant auto accidents and understaffed hospitals is the ambulance-chasing attorneys who... More >>

• Intriguing Meta-Cinema Ideas Undercut by Didactism in Even the Rain

  published February 9, 2011

  Akin to Truffaut’s Day for Night as reimagined by Howard Zinn (to whom it’s dedicated), Even the Rain revolves around... More >>

• Donnie Yen's Combat Skills Enliven Ip Man 2

  published January 26, 2011

  The famed titular Wing Chun martial arts master returns to protect Chinese honor in Ip Man 2, a redundant if nonetheless occasionally... More >>

• New York Jewish Film Festival: Twentysomething, Smart, and Available

  published January 12, 2011

  If Jewish history is at least partially defined by perseverance, so, too, is New York’s Jewish Film Festival, which celebrates its 20th... More >>