Email Author Paul Collins

2004 Stories by Paul Collins

• Airships on Dope

  published December 21, 2004

  Got a double boiler, magnesium carbonate, and time on your hands? Sick of getting ripped off by The Man, with his exorbitant prices for hemorrhoid... More >>

• Decline and Fall and Fall and Fall

  published August 31, 2004

  I'm amazed you're reading this—or reading anything at all. "For the first time in modern history, less than half the adult population now... More >>

• Cavity Creeps

  published July 27, 2004

  When pigeons recently flew out of a small hole in the ceiling of a cathedral in Valencia, Spain, restorers diligently went looking inside to check... More >>

• This Genteel Racket

  published June 29, 2004

  Every working writer has a trunkful of humiliating stories about their first attempts to get published, so here's one of mine. Years ago, back... More >>

• Genius Of Bedlam

  published March 30, 2004

  Note to Terry Gilliam: Call your producers. The story behind The Air Loom Gang is the stuff of Fisher Kings and windmill-tilters:... More >>

• Spanking the Monkey

  published January 6, 2004

  It is a truth universally acknowledged that Everything Is Funnier With Monkeys. If J. Fred Muggs, Lancelot Link, or zoo-house fecal tossing have... More >>