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1999 Stories by Scott Seward

Archives: 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000 | 1999
  • You Go, Grrrl!

    published December 21, 1999

    "I hate you so much right now! I hate you so much right now! UNGGGGHH!" No way can you deny "Caught Out There," the new debut single by Kelis... More >>

  • Expose yourself

    published October 19, 1999

    Dear Trent, How’s it going, dude? Long time no see. (Ha Ha Ha) But seriously, as much as I loved your excellent soundtrack work, I thought... More >>

  • Expose Yourself

    published October 12, 1999

    Dear Trent, How's it going, dude? Long time no see. (Ha Ha Ha) But seriously, as much as I loved your excellent soundtrack work, I thought I'd... More >>

  • I Want My B-E-T

    published September 28, 1999

    Puff Daddy is winking at me. He is slowly disrobing and his teeth glisten in the moonlight. My heart starts to beat a little faster as he points... More >>

  • Lo-Fi Dead in O-hi-o?

    published August 31, 1999

    Guided By Voices have the keys to the alt-rock kingdom. They are adored by thousands of critic types (and even some people who don't live in... More >>

  • Armageddon It

    published August 3, 1999

    On the eve of the new millennium, you will find me at the gates of Neverland Ranch, praying for the mortal souls of all humanity. I just read on... More >>

  • All Dat

    published July 20, 1999

    Billboard trumpets MP3 and streaming audio feeds, but I'm high on DAT. Specifically, "Who Dat" by JT Money and "I'll Bee Dat!" by Redman.... More >>

  • Total Eclipse of Art

    published June 1, 1999

    Does anyone remember laughter?" When human codpiece and supposed former infatuation junkie Robert Plant posed this rhetorical question to a... More >>

  • Prodigy Present the Dirtchamber Sessions Volume One

    published April 20, 1999

    I'd bet the keys to my Lincoln Navigator that if I gave any schmo off the street a crate of records, a mixer, and two turntables, he could come up... More >>

  • Chick Dance

    published March 2, 1999

    I spent most of last Wednesday in court due to the restraining order Lil' Kim slapped on me, so I missed most of the Grammy pregame action. As... More >>

  • Beats Below the Street

    published February 16, 1999

    You're young. The rhymes are flowing. Your bong is packed. How do you set yourself apart from the crowd as an underground hip-hop artist?... More >>

Archives: 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000 | 1999
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