Sloane Crosley

Latest Stories

  • 11 years ago

    I knew we were born the same year, Katie Holmes and I. It's one of those facts that crop up in glossy interviews with young actresses. Natalie Portman went to Harvard, Claire Danes to Yale. Rosario Dawson was discovered on a stoop, Reese Witherspo...

  • 11 years ago

    I am not a very good vegetarian anymore. There, I said it. Sure, I still like to veg out. Be still like vegetables. Lay like broccoli. But I used to be an exemplary vegetarian. A few years ago The New Yorker ran a cartoon of one woman explaining t...

  • 11 years ago

    The other night I changed my goldfish's water blind drunk. I came home late, put my fish in his temporary bourbon-glass hell, and filtered some water. Brita operates at the speed of dial-up Internet. Plenty of time to spot an opened bottle of wine...

  • 11 years ago

    It happens every day. Tourists whip out maps; yuppies overestimate their control of retractable dog leashes; teenage girls refuse to break their line of chatter as you tailgate behind with three bags of groceries and two months' worth of dry clean...

  • 12 years ago

    White girls with big asses, man. There goes another one, a J. Crew cardigan riding up atop a buttock so big, so out of place, it makes you wonder if Serena Williams woke up this morning wondering where her ass went. Temperatures are going up, taki...

  • 12 years ago

    Every day in the not-too-distant lands of Westchester or Park Avenue penthouses (any category of "up"), people move out of their homes, and their belongings go with them. They call movers and they go to brunch and they come back and all their stuf...


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