Best Place to Find a Dead Slugger (2008)

Gates of Heaven Cemetery

It's the ultimate pitching-coach truism: "Babe Ruth is dead. Throw strikes." But if you need proof that goes beyond the Babe's appropriately graphic assessment of his fate ("The termites have got me"), head to Gates of Heaven Cemetery. There the remains of the Sultan of Swat lie alongside those of Condé Nast, Charles Schwab, Lisa Steinberg, umpire John McSherry, and Yankee manager Billy Martin. The giant marble tombstone, usually covered with tribute trinkets from adoring fans, features a life-size image of Jesus seemingly advising the young Bambino on how to hit the curveball. However, the immortal words of Cardinal Spellman, inscribed to Christ's left, merit a grain of salt: "May the divine spirit that animated Babe Ruth to win the crucial game of life inspire the youth of America." After all, do kids really need inspiration to drink, smoke, and belch? Take the Metro North Harlem line to the Hawthorne stop.


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