Best Place to Take a Shit in Midtown (2008)

ESPN Zone, The View, Rue 57

No location is more worthy of taking a dump than midtown; yet, for the average pedestrian consumed in the frantic, decimating rush of the bowel, worthy locations are hard to find. Despair? No more! In the panic, dip into ESPN ZONE (4 Times Square Plaza, 921-3776). Don't think twice outside or wait in line. Head straight to the back. Don't ask permission; tourists ask permission. Pass the bartender and give her the look of Confidence Man. It should say, simply: "I belong here, you don't." Then abscond into one of the finest latrines in Manhattan, pick a stall, shut the door, and enjoy free ESPN TV. For those with more time, try the marbled powder room at THE VIEW on the 47th floor of the Marriott Marquis Hotel (1535 Broadway, 704-8900) or the charming commode in the basement of RUE 57 (60 West 57th Street, 307-5656), where they offer complimentary mints, hair tonic, and cigarettes.


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