Dick Cheney's Last Meal (2008)
There can be no doubt that Bush's VP is an evil dude, so we've developed our own version of extraordinary rendition for him. First, we'll lure him into a black limo somewhere in midtown with naked pix of the prez and first lady, then whisk him to Flushing, Queens. There we'll force-feed him a meal at Little Pepper (a/k/a Xiao La Jiao), where he'll scream as we waterboard him with soft bean curd in spicy sauce, dan-dan noodles, and—the pièce de résistance—dried rabbit: a tandoori-red bunny with a dry dipping condiment that's pure Sichuan peppercorns. He'll howl in pain!