Methuselah's Last Meal (2008)
This Old Testament figure is famous for living to the age of 969 (which sounds like code for some sort of weird group sex). This makes him the perfect person to enjoy the wonderful burger at Shake Shack, composed of brisket and rib meat, because he won't mind waiting in line almost forever. When he gets to the order window, we'll also buy him the Chicago "red hot" weenie, another formidable munch. Additionally, Shake Shack is one of his only chances to enjoy a legal glass of wine in the park.