best church not to have sex in (2008)

ST. PATRICK'S CATHEDRAL

ST. PATRICK'S CATHEDRAL, begun in 1858, contains three organs. That's plenty, thank you very much. There's no need to lay any more pipe in there, as a couple taking part in a sex-in-strange-places contest put on by shock jocks Opie and Anthony proved—the copulating couple were arrested and the DJs fired. I prefer quietly masturbating in the pews, anyhow.