Best psycho massage (2008)

CARAPAN

Think "spa environment" and you imagine a clean, bright room, maybe some light, polished wood. Not so at CARAPAN. The walls are blood-red, the waiting room is dark and cave-like, and a dingy Southwestern theme dominates the mood. Incense smoke flares upward into the somber dankness like a warning: "Put your clothes back on!" A masseur recalls Frank of Blue Velvet. Frighteningly shrill holistic music plays during a clammy-handed massage. Service is attentive . . . oddly attentive . . . AHHHH!!!!!