Best Place to Buy Live Frogs (2008)

Lucky Seafood

Look at the frogs, big momma Gertrude,
Sitting in the buckets, at LUCKY SEAFOOD;
A thousand webbed feet, squished
into 500 heads;
How cute? How cute?
Leaping up the plastic walls, looking
for ground,
They only cost $3.39 a pound!
They come in sacks like potatoes, Gertie,
From Taiwan and China, even New Jersey.
Buy one please; we can call him
Phil, Phil the Frog;
How cute? How cute?
And we can take Mr. Phil home—
for me, for you—
Place him on his belly, and chop him in two!
Grab the garlic and bread crumbs,
whip up the egg batter;
Boy, I sure wish Phil's legs were a little fatter.
How cute? Not so cute.
Look: the guts, the saddle, his lung
instead of a gill.
Oh, he would have made a good jumper,
that Mr. Phil.
Still we should eat him; take a bite, a taste,
just a smidgen;
Don't be scared, Gert—Phil tastes
like chicken!


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